Breaking the Groundhog Day Cycle of Shame with Carolyn Robitstow

I just got home from a 3 day trip to Las Vegas. Even when I was a drinker I wasn’t a Vegas girl, so I was curious what the experience would be like to be there sober.  Few places glamorize drinking as much as Sin City, and on this trip I saw that on full display. It was an important reminder, and it made me all the more grateful for my mocktails, my early nights in bed, and my lack of shame.  If you’re preparing for your first sober vacation, whether it be to Vegas or anywhere else, check out this episode on how to prepare for your first sober vacation.  Here’s my Sober in Vegas highlight reel!  Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kristi Tanner is a sober influencer, sober coach, the owner of Sober Social, a wonderful NA bottle shop in Madison, Wisconsin, and a meeting host inside the Sober Mom Life Cafe. It is a life path that she never could’ve predicted for herself and it required her to  search for the answer to a big question: who was she without alcohol?  Alcohol had become central to Kristi’s perceived identity. By the time she hit rock bottom in 2019, the single mom of four believed that she could not find any other way to get relief from her pain and unhappiness. But after a divorce, stints in rehab, a psych ward, detox, two DUIs and a night in jail, she had a terrifying realization - if she didn’t get sober she was going to lose her children, and she would deserve it.  Kristi remembered that she had loved living before she ever loved alcohol, and she had to find her way back to that feeling. It was then that she raised her white flag, accepted that she needed rehab, and began to search for who she was beneath the alcohol that was ruining her life.  Since that day in 2019 Kristi’s life has been turned upside down in the most beautiful way. She is now over 5 years sober, she has learned that there are better ways to handle her pain, and she has regained access to her joy. She has been open and curious about life without alcohol and has deeply found herself within a sober life.  Learn more about Kristi’s work:  Sober Social in Madison Wisconsin  Instagram @mocktailmommy Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  The Sober Mom Life Community is also available, for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Check out The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie and I are here for another installment of SobrieTEA, where we spill the tea about our favorite escape: Bravo and Reality TV!  This week we’re diving deep into the return of The Valley, including Jesse and Michelle’s ugly divorce and co-parenting proceedings and Jax and Brittany’s navigation of substance abuse issues.  Plus - a check in on Southern Charm, which reality men Suzanne and Katie might’ve dated when they were younger, Love on the Spectrum, and a dash of true crime.  Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  The Sober Mom Life Community is also available, for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Check out The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the daughter of a high school principal, Jessica felt a lot of pressure to stay in line. She never drank in high school, and even abstained through her freshman year of college. As the persona of ‘principal's daughter’ wore off, though, alcohol became a regular part of her life.  This became challenging when Jessica moved back to her hometown and took a job in education. Always worried about her public image, she kept her wits about her when drinking in public and began to prefer drinking at home. As she became a mom and shifted her career to work from home, drinking at home became a nightly habit.  Jessica and her husband moved to a lake home and began to throw regular parties. This ‘‘weekend warrior’ phase felt so fun - until it wasn’t. She increasingly found herself starting the week hungover and on the back foot.  It was at this moment that Instagram dropped one of Suzanne’s videos onto Jessica’s feed - a video simply telling her that she was allowed to not drink. This message hit on a feeling that Jessica hadn’t been able to voice, and something within her began to shift.  On New Year's Eve it all came to a head and Jessica followed her instinct - she didn’t want to drink that night. She felt more present with her family as they celebrated and made a big realization - sobriety was her new path. Sobriety has opened incredible new avenues for her! She is now a certified life coach and has begun to offer focused support to high achieving women interested in sobriety!  Jessica recommends the incredible Casey Davidson if you’re looking for further sobriety support Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  The Sober Mom Life Community is also available, for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Check out The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alcohol wasn’t present in Courtney’s childhood, so when she was offered champagne by friends at a holiday when she was fifteen, she had no knowledge of how it would affect her. She only knew that it was ‘forbidden’, and what 15 year old wouldn’t want to try a forbidden thing? The cozy sense of warmth that overcame her was so appealing. After that day, alcohol easily slipped into her life.  Courtney experienced a series of red flags around her drinking through the years, but she ignored them. She clearly didn’t have a ‘problem’, so there was no reason to consider her relationship with alcohol too closely. Yet, as she became a mother, alcohol began to take up more and more space in her brain, and her relationship with it became more and more uncomfortable.  An unexpected third pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage served as a wakeup call. She was given an opportunity to truly feel her emotions around alcohol, and to create new habits that required sobriety to enjoy. It felt so good, and she became fiercely protective of these new life choices. At that point, she began moderating and paying close attention to how alcohol made her feel until one day at a brewery it became completely clear: Alcohol was not serving her. In fact, alcohol was taking joy from her life. She was done.  Courtney has recently reached 100 days of sobriety!  Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For women with a history of disordered eating, the first months of sobriety can often include an unwanted surge of challenging experiences around food. Registered Therapist and eating disorder specialist Liza Feilner joins Suzanne and Susan today to help us navigate this tricky issue. Liza has over two decades of experience supporting women with eating disorders, and she has also been sober since she was 23 years old! She’ll share why food challenges and disordered eating can arise in sobriety, the importance of giving yourself grace as you navigate major life changes, and how to seek help if you are struggling in this way.  Learn more about Liza’s practice: https://www.claritygroup.org/liza-feilner Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  The Sober Mom Life Community is also available, for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Check out The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maria is back on the pod! When she was last here she was six months sober, and today she’ll tell us about the changes, challenges, and wins she’s had in her sobriety journey in the past year. You’ll hear why Maria no longer counts days, the normalcy she now feels regarding her sobriety, and the immense benefit that sober community has had in her life as she’s navigated through challenging times, such as an IVF transfer that didn’t pan out and a lapsed experience with cannabis.  Check out Maria’s first episode on the podcast here!  Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie is nearing the end of her maternity leave and she has caught up on SO much TV while in the newborn bubble. So, we’re back to dive into all of the great Bravo that’s been on in the last few months!  Today, we’ll recap the great last season of Traitors, Southern Charm’s long awaited return, and how the new younger cast on Summer House has really changed the energy of the show.  Plus - Suzanne and Katie's thoughts on the second seasons of Severance and White Lotus, and Jax’s interviews about rehab.   Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mom and I just got back from the latest Sober Mom Life retreat in Scottsdale, Arizona, and it was absolutely fantastic! This retreat was such a breath of fresh air and really solidified my feelings that we’re building an amazing community of caring, non-judgmental sober women.  You’ll hear all about the event, from the meals to the sessions to the bonding and everything in between. Plus, you’ll get the inside scoop on how to sign up for the next Sober Mom Life retreat if you'd like to join us in the fall!  Thank you to the wonderful companies that supported the retreat with their delightful gifts:  In My Sundays pajamas: https://www.inmysundays.com/ Adorn 512 Jewelry: https://www.adorn512.com/ Take the personality test Susan mentioned: https://viacharacter.org/ Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sarah believed a myth: Alcohol Makes Things Special. She believed that alcohol was a special ingredient to make things fun ever since middle school when she took her first drink at a slumber party. This belief followed her through college and into adulthood, and because she didn’t experience intense hangovers or blackouts, she never gave the belief a second thought.  Once Sarah started having children, however, her experience of alcohol began to change. She noticed the sluggish, brain foggy nature of hangovers more than she ever had before. More worrisome for her, though, was her realization that drinking made her more aggressive. She wondered - did she like herself better when she was sober? Sobriety didn’t seem like an option, though. How could she enjoy a sober life when alcohol was the ingredient that made things special? In 2022, Sarah tried Dry January and realized that something about sobriety worked for her. Thus began her two year journey of drinking with the blinders off, until she fully quit after having a surprising realization: She’d enjoyed her one sober night on her birthday trip more than any of the nights that she drank.  Slowly, Sarah started sharing her sobriety in public. The response was inspiring. So many women approached her wanting to know more, sharing their own worries about alcohol, and asking for advice. This fuels Sarah to live her sober life loudly!  At six months sober, Sarah’s mom passed away unexpectedly. The experience rocked her world, and she was so grateful that her sobriety was well intact. It helped her truly sit in her grief instead of reaching for the distraction of alcohol.  Check out Sarah’s article about sobriety on Indianapolis Moms! Are you looking for community in sobriety? Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe!  For $40/month, you’ll get access to 12 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed, our monthly book club and happy hour, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and even a monthly Bravo chat! For a limited time, get one week free!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed, the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices