Breaking the Groundhog Day Cycle of Shame with Carolyn Robitstow

Today’s real sober mom, Ashlee, made a pledge to herself when she was young: she would never drink. Ashlee had experienced first hand the damage caused by a parent who drank, and she never wanted to be that mom. Yet, when she turned 21 and had her first drink, things got complicated. For her, it was ‘love at first sip’.  Today, Ashlee tells the story of how the ‘attention seeking party girl lifestyle’ upended her life almost immediately. She details the intense drinking culture she experienced in the military, and shares how alcohol seeped into every corner of her life until it affected her ability to show up for her husband, her work, and her children.  Ashlee experienced deep healing and recovery in AA, and she shares her opinions on the strengths and limitations of the program.  Ashlee wants you to know: You can quit even when it feels like the world around you is centered around alcohol. Those who love you can adapt!  Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here:  https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s an exciting day on the pod - The incredible Emily Ley is finally here, and she is telling her sobriety story publicly for the very first time!  In today’s episode, Emily will share about how she began to self medicate with alcohol to manage undiagnosed ADD, her silent sober curious journey, the doctor that completely invalidated her urge to quit drinking, how she feels like she discovered a ‘secret to life’ in sobriety, and so much more!  Emily wants you to know: you do not have to have a ‘Capital P’ Problem to quit drinking!  If you were as moved and inspired by Emily as I was, then you need to follow her on Instagram at @emilyley and check out her books and organizational products at www.emilyley.com Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here:  https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this flashback from May 2023, I’ll share my approach to sobriety, and how I found myself at the place I am now with alcohol.  When I began my sober journey, I only knew what I didn’t want: I didn’t want alcohol to take one more day away from me. Now I know what I do want: a full, expansive and beautiful sober life.  Your sober journey gets to look the way YOU want it to. It doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s guidelines.  If you’re looking for a community of wonderful sober moms to support you while you build your own sober life, join us inside The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here:  https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Audrey and I are tackling a big topic: Why we believe pregnancy does not count as a true sober experience. We know that might sound harsh, but stick with us! Because our goal in today’s episode is to empower you to see all that sobriety has to offer you that you didn’t experience during pregnancy. We lay out how sobriety differs from pregnancy, the ways in which pregnancy makes it easy to abstain, how society pressures us to pick a drink back up immediately after giving birth, and so much more.  If you’re a mom who quit during pregnancy and is wondering if alcohol might be making motherhood harder - this episode is for you.  Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here: https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kelly is a mid-40’s mom of three, on again/off again stay at home mom who is working on figuring how to navigate a new ADHD diagnosis and sobriety. She began her drinking career in high school like many of us. It wasn’t her favorite, due to the lack of control she felt when drunk. Between joining the military at 20 and then being a mom not wanting to find a new pot dealer in her 30’s, she shifted to alcohol. First it was for fun partying, then it became a helpful way to shut down her brain to sleep, and finally a way to wash away the overwhelm of parenthood. A few decades later, she recognized it had become problematic and had no idea how to manage life without it. While she is less then thrilled about all the work a sober life entails, she absolutely knows that it is worth it. She just reserves the right to grumble about it.  Alcohol Explained by William Porter and Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker were instrumental in opening Kelly’s eyes to realize the truth: She wasn’t the problem. Alcohol was the problem.  After a few stops and starts, in March of 2023 she quit for good! She has found the community she craved in The Sober Mom Life Cafe and she leans on podcasts and self care in order to stay sober. It has felt like a hard road, and she is so proud of herself for what she has accomplished!  Join us in the The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here: https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If anyone can make sobriety look glamorous, it’s Morgan Matkovic. Morgan is a lifestyle blogger, special needs advocate, mother, and author. On top of all that, she is almost three months sober! Morgan and I have been blogging buddies for nine years, and I am so happy that our paths have crossed in this wonderful way!  Today Morgan talks about the role alcohol played on her social feed when she was drinking, why she felt so ready to try Dry January this year, how her daughter’s ASD diagnosis made her realize that alcohol was not making motherhood easier, and so much more!  Morgan’s lifestyle blog is so beautiful and aspirational. Check her out on Instagram at @morganmatkovic or at www.morganmatkovic.com.  Would you like to join us for the next Sober Mom Life retreat on Oct 10-13 in Asheville, NC? Step one is to join The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here:  https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie joins me today for the first episode in a new series: SobrieTEA!  Like so many sober moms in our community, Katie and I are both obsessed with Bravo. Plus, Katie is plugged into the reality world professionally! So today we're here to spill all the tea from the Bravo world, with a special lens on how alcohol plays a role. In this episode we tackle the latest seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Summer House and Vanderpump Rules, sharing our thoughts on the drama, the relationships, and (especially) the sobriety and drinking. If you haven’t checked out Katie’s episode of The Real Sober Moms, check it out here!  Would you like to join us for the next Sober Mom Life retreat on Oct 10-13 in Asheville, NC? Step one is to join The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here:  https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Erinn O’Neill of the 2 Sober Girls Podcast joins me today!  Erinn is a big proponent of AA, and she should absolutely be in charge of the organization's rebrand. She was so kind to answer all of my burning questions about AA, and her approach to sobriety is so soulful, light and non-judgmental!  In this episode Erinn shares her sobriety journey, how reconnecting with her faith led her to sobriety, why she finds power in the term ‘alcoholic’ and why she believes so deeply in the mission of AA.  Learn more about Erinn’s coaching at @recoverwitherinn Check out the 2 Sober Girls Podcast!  Announcing the all new Sober Mom Life Community! Starting February 1st, we’re launching a brand new community option for just $5.95/month! In this Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community feed (like Facebook, but better!) the exclusive community chat, and one free weekly meeting.  If you’d like to go deeper, join us in The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 6 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here: https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Growing up, Kara felt like her father had chosen alcohol over his family. He was in and out of rehab for alcohol addiction when she was young, which ultimately led to her parents divorce.  Kara’s mom remarried when she was four and Kara grew up in a blended family of six kids. Though it was a great family life, with so many kids in the house there was no space for her parents to support her emotional needs. Kara had social anxiety, and she began to lean on alcohol to support her in social situations. Then, as she became an adult, alcohol became the go to coping mechanism she reached for at the end of a long day.  Once Kara became a mom, though, the shame began to mount. It didn’t matter how much she drank… the simple act of drinking made her feel like she was choosing alcohol over her kids. This was not a cycle that she was willing to repeat.  Yet, no one seemed to understand the reasons why she wanted to quit. She didn’t have a physical addiction… Why did she need to quit drinking? It took some time for her to push the opinions of others out of her mind, but as she neared 40 she realized that giving up alcohol could help her reach everything she hoped to achieve. She was going to quit for herself. Other people’s opinions did not matter.  Kara is now one year sober and she is not looking back! She wants you to know: It’s okay to quit drinking, even if you don’t have a ‘problem’.  Would you like to join us for the next Sober Mom Life retreat on Oct 10-13 in Asheville, NC? Step one is to join The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here: https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Click here to follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lifestyle reporter Rachel Paula Abrahamson recently penned the article Sober Moms are challenging wine mom culture one playdate at a time for Today.com, and I am honored to welcome her to the show for her first podcast conversation about her own sobriety. We’ll talk about how drinking became central to her life, the reasons she ultimately chose to quit, how we talk to our kids about alcohol, and the need for society to abandon the idea that a ‘rock bottom’ is required for sobriety.  Follow Rachel on Instagram @rachelpaula Would you like to join us for the next Sober Mom Life retreat on Oct 10-13 in Asheville, NC? Step one is to join The Sober Mom Life Cafe! For just $25/month, you get access to 8 weekly peer support meetings, the exclusive Cafe social feed (like Facebook, but better!), our monthly book club, the monthly Q+A, the ability to join the retreat, and the chance to share your story on The Real Sober Moms, and merch discounts!  We also have The Sober Mom Life Community for just $5.95/month - In the Community, you’ll receive access to the exclusive Community social feed (like Facebook, but better!), the exclusive community chat, our monthly book club, and one free weekly meeting.  My mocktail recipe book, ‘No Ethanol Needed’ is finally here! Grab your copy here: https://mykindofsweet.com/2024/01/the-no-ethanol-needed-mocktail-ebook-is-here/ Follow The Sober Mom Life on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices