Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

The Sober School with Kate Bee

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Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

This week my guest is Kate from the Sober School

About 7 years ago when I was casting about for help with my own drinking problem I stumbled upon a blog by Kate who had already been sober for a couple of years. 

She was the first person I ever heard suggesting that sobriety could be fun – rather than the grey and miserable place many drinkers imagine it to be. 

I now know that she was absolutely right of course so it was a real pleasure to chat to Kate about her own drinking story and the work she is doing these days.

 

In this Episode

  • When Kate looks back she realises that at University she used to drink alone in her room – even though there were numerous bars and opportunities to drink with other students! If you enjoy drinking alone then that’s a bit of a red flag because it means that you are not using it to “socialise” – you are using it to relax or perhaps to try to calm your anxiety.
  • As you heard Kate cleverly gave up drinking at the tender age of 30 but for many of us the pattern seems to be that we DO use alcohol to socialise in our 20’s and 30’s and then as we get into our 40’s and 50’s it often turns more into self medication and that when we enjoy drinking alone.
  • Kate had been worrying about her drinking for years before she actually did anything which is not at all unusual – A recent study highlighted the fact that it takes an average of 11 years between realising that you have a bit of a “problem” and actually doing something about it. This is a shame because for many of use our dependence and our unhappiness worsen during this period. 
  • I think it takes such a long time to tackle our drinking for two reasons:-  1. As Kate said society tells us that we are either a “normal” drinker or we are a raging alcoholic –if we are a raging alcoholic we must to go AA – if not then we are fine.  We do see articles about “cutting down” which make it sound simple but of course once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking that becomes impossible.  Personally I spent my 11 years of procrastination trying to “cut down” so that I wouldn’t have to quit completely! 2. Second reason we resist reaching out for help is that we don’t know where to find it. Many of us don’t want to go to AA or we try it and it doesn’t work – then we just get stuck.  But times are changing and the modern recovery movement means there are many online solutions these days.  Solutions which work for the millions of people who are not “raging alcoholics” but they are not “normal drinkers” either. 
  • Kate had been sober for 8 years and back then there was very little help around. However she discovered a blog – (the blog was Unpickled by Jean McCarthy) and it resonated with her.  For the first time she felt that there was someone out there “just like her” – which is exactly how I felt when I discovered Kate's blog.  So it’s all about “finding your people” – that’s the first step in the journey.
  • Her own journey to sobriety began with a blog where she connected with others on the same path and did a 100 day challenge – she felt a “shift” after those 100 days and found herself reflecting on whether she could make sobriety enjoyable – rather than something to be “endured”.
  • We both agreed that doing a Dry January is too short to experience any benefits of sobriety so by gritting our teeth and getting through all we teach ourselves is that sobriety is a miserable place to be!
  • We discussed the value of of writing a Goodbye to Alcohol letter - you can check some out here
  • I loved Kate's Breakthrough story when she was organising her 30th birthday party in early sobriety. Rather than organising a big party she decided to do it completely differently.  Accepting the fact that she actually didn’t like socialising in big groups she organised several small gatherings – and loved them.  She realised that she’d been using alcohol to squeeze herself into what society expected her to be!
  • This happens to SO many of us and in fact a whole book has been written about the subject! Do get hold of a copy of the book Quiet by Susan Cain which explains that roughly 50% of society are introverts but society favours extravert behaviour which leaves many of us using alcohol as a coping mechanism – fascinating! 
  • The subtitle of Susans book is:-

The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and she argues that:  modern Western culture misunderstands and undervalues the traits and capabilities of introverted people, leading to "a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness".

  • So if you ARE an introvert and use alcohol to help you cope then please read this book – it will help you understand yourself – and your power – so much better!
  • Kate explained that the impact of quitting alcohol is deep – we lose our shame, guilt, worry which is SO freeing. We also free up our mental space and start keeping our promises.
  • We agreed that another advantage of dealing with our drinking problem is that we get to know ourselves so much better than people who have never had to deal with addiction issues.
  • Sobriety also means we start reflecting on what we really want out of life:-
  • If we are an introvert and have been using alcohol to cope we may decide to embrace our introvert side and make some lifestyle changes
  • Kate completely changed her lifestyle – she swopped her life in the city as a tv producer for a life in the country running the Sober School which helps other women to stop drinking.
  • You can find Kate’s blog and more info about the Sober School on her website which is thesoberschool.com

More info

  • Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE
  • To access our website click HERE
  • If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected]
  • If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected]
  • Episode Sponsor

          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE

          Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you 

        

 Help us to spread the word!

We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.

If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!

We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 

You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE

Thank you for listening! 

Till Next Week

Janet x

PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)

1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.

2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.

3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).

4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.

5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Altri episodi di "Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!"

  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Sober Short - Work Your Tribe

    8:43

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! Welcome to our very first "Sober Short" - an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast. I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info. Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today In this episode Tool number one in our toolbox is connection…connection is the opposite of addiction A fact that has been proved by the ratpark experiment way back in the 1960’s If you haven’t seen Johann Haris fabulous TED talk where he describes this experiment then please check it out here Once your drinking has crossed a line you need to connect with others on the same path… If you are wondering whether you have crossed this imaginary line then try to drink within the “low risk limits” of one and a half bottles of wine a week – or 6 beers – if you can’t then you probably need to make some changes Giving up alcohol is a lonely path – it has been completely normalised in our society and the peer pressure is strong… It’s the only drug we need to justify NOT taking so you need to find your people People like you who understand that “no you cant just drink less, or drink more slowly or have one glass” People who are or were in exactly the same place so they “get you” I spent ten long years trying to tackle my drinking problem alone – my attitude was that I’ve got myself into this mess so I’ll get myself out of it – and nobody need be any the wiser. The problem was I had no-one to connect with when I was struggling, nobody to inspire me when I was fed up – nobody to hold me accountable when I fell off the wagon – again and again. Like many women I was ashamed of my little problem – and I was also totally reluctant to let the wine go completely I thought I would be able to “control” it and drink normally – become a normal drinker! Of course now I understand that was an impossible dream and if I could give one piece of advice to anyone considering their relationship with alcohol it would be:- Don’t waste your time with Moderation Mary as we call her– just ditch the stuff and you will find peace. Admittedly you will have to work out HOW to live without your best friend but that’s where we come in. I’m not the only one who wasted time trying to control an addictive drug – a recent study by the Tempest – 11 years Always remember that people who CAN moderate just do it – alcohol is not even on their radio and they certainly won’t be listening to this podcast! So if you’re listening to this and you are worried about your drinking then don’t waste 11 years – reach out to someone today.. When I finally reached out and got some help I realized that I was not alone, I was not broken, there was nothing wrong with me – I was just one of the 20% of social drinkers who had become dependent over the years.. Alcohol is so sneaky, it really creeps up on us – like many women I drank socially during my 20’s and 30s and then began to use it to manage my anxiety and to relax during my 40s and 50s – when drinking alone became one of my favourite occupations! If you want to hear my drinking story and what finally drove me to quit and how I did it then you can hear that on Tribe Sober podcast episode 1. So our first tool in the Tribe Sober toolkit is to find your people Its SO much easier to find your people these days – 10 years ago we only had AA but now there are many online sober communities, an endless supply of alcohol free drinks and we even have a Sober Magazine – Hola Sober! So find your people and then “work your tribe” – by which we mean stay connected and share your ups and downs We would love to be your people so do give us a try, for an affordable monthly subscription we offer plenty of support including daily Tribe Chats to enable you to check in and get some extra help if you need it.. – click here for more info So that’s your Sober Short for today – Top Tool from our Sober Toolbox – work your tribe Find your people – and stay connected – because connection is the opposite of addiction If YOU’ve got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me [email protected] Don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – full of recovery stories, expert advice and plenty of advice – its called Tribe Sober and comes out every Saturday morning More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then               sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you - email her on [email protected]            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning and a Sober Short on Wednesdays You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x   PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Take a Break from Booze - Part 3

    43:30

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We created TS because we believe it’s really hard to change your drinking habits alone – so at TS we are all about community so on this weeks podcast we are featuring 2 ladies who signed up for our Sober Spring Challenge. At the time of recording we are in late January but if you are up for taking a break then just sign up for our January Challenge which is open until 31st Jan – for a small donation to a good cause we offer community and online support for an alcohol free month. We’ve currently got 115 people going through the Challenge so sign up today and join the fun –they are chatting away all day long on their WhatsApp group – sharings their journey and passing on tips. Just go to tribesober.com and hit January challenge. If you’re listening to this after January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” and we’ll put you on our 30 day starter challenge. In this episode Every year we do a Sober Spring Challenge - 66 alcohol free days - two of our Sober Springer are sharing their experience Our first Sober Springer is Roz, a Brit living in Spain.  Roz drank for decades but once she joined the tribe - she stopped and never went back - "Tribe Sober is my family" - she says Our second Springer is Annick from Belguim - she also found that "connection is the opposite of addiction" and the WhatsApp group kept her on track.  Her first 30 days were tough but by Day 80 she was flying! After helping hundreds of people to get sober I am convinced that this doesn’t have to be a lifelong struggle.  It involves giving it your all for the first 6 months when you are basically concentrating on “not drinking” and learning as much as you can.  The rest of that first year is about learning to navigate our alcohol drenched society, developing  new interests and learning to thrive in your alcohol free life. Like many women Annick was quite health conscious– she ate healthy foods and did yoga – but she drank.  For so many of us alcohol is the missing part of the puzzle – so many of us are filled with fear and reluctant to let it go.  All we can tell you from the other side is that you will GAIN so much more than you will lose if you ditch the drink!  Your drinking isn’t a PROBLEM – it’s actually giving you an OPPORTUNITY – to ditch the stuff and open up your life – that’s a valuable reframe by Tribe Member Lucy! Talking of Lucy, Annick referred to our “Why” exercise which was designed by Lucy and has helped SO many of our members – if you’d like a copy just drop a line to [email protected] and I’ll send it to you   A few tips and benefits from my conversations with Roz and Annick TIPS Find a community – you heard Roz say that TS has become her family and Annick said the WhatsApp group helped her to feel less alone – it’s so important to realise that we are not alone in this struggle – we are not broken, we are not diseased – we just got addicted to an addictive substance like 20% of social drinkers do – every single year. “Connection is the opposite of addiction” so find your people – maybe we are your people – go to ts.com and hit “join our tribe” and find out more about the support we offer. Annick got to the point where moderation no longer crossed her mind. This is a huge step – when we accept that we can never drink alcohol we find peace.  Admittedly we have some work to do to change our habits but it’s entirely possible and so worthwhile.  Always remember that people who moderate just moderate – alcohol is not even on their radar - If you are listening to this you probably can’t moderate or you wouldn’t find it interesting. Final tip is to give it your all. Ros and Annick really “threw” the book at their sobriety – Ros checked the community messages first thing in the morning and last thing at night, attended all the zoom meetings, listened to the podcasts and read the quitlit.  Annick even listened to the podcasts twice!  Give it your all and get this sobriety thing nailed within six months – then work on thriving in your alcohol free life and you will never look back! Lets end with a couple of the many benefits that emerged from those conversations:- Ros sleeps well, wakes up happy and has lost weight without even trying!  She’s just had her 71st birthday and says that sobriety is the best birthday present ever! Annick has boundless energy and “joie de vivre” and relates to the title of Catherine Grays book – “the unexpected joy of being sober” – like me she had absolutely no idea that sobriety could be full of joy! If you enjoyed this episode then you can hear another 6 conversations about the power of taking a break from the booze by listening to episodes 75 and 76. This week we have a PDF to give away – its called “30 signs you may have a problem with alcohol” – just email [email protected] if you’d like a copy Don’t forget to follow us and share the podcast   -   and we would be SO grateful if you would leave us a review Take a screenshot of your review and email it to [email protected] – we’ll read it out on the show and send you something nice to say thank you! It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life!  SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x   PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).  
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    How Big Alcohol Hijacked the Feminist Movement - with Ann Dowsett Johnston

    1:01:55

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! When I was contemplating sobriety I read a couple of books that really resonated with me – one was Caroline Knapp: Drinking a Love Story and the other one was Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol  That book was published back in 2013 and it was a book that predicted the huge rise in risky drinking for women – a prediction that sadly has come true. In her book Ann skilfully combines in-depth research with her own moving story of alcohol abuse. She highlights the positive fact that women have closed the gender gap in their professional and educational lives BUT they have also achieved equality with men by drinking at unhealthy levels. Unfortunately our bodies are not equal to a man’s body when it comes to metabolising alcohol – we get dependent quicker and it damages our health to a higher degree. Ann explains how the alcohol industry had been ruthlessly targeting women for the last two decades – and how successful they have been In this episode Anns drinking became problematic as she hit menopause – her son was going off to college and she had empty nest syndrome. She became depressed but didn’t want anti depressants (as her mom had fallen prey to the combination of cocktails and Valium) so she started to rely on wine to “take the edge off” In her 50’s Ann became so worried about her drinking that she took herself off to rehab. However it didn’t work.  Leaving rehab she had no idea how to navigate normal life and we agreed that this is a “missing piece” in some rehabs. She found herself sneaking drinks for 3 months and then began to feel suicidal – her ex husband suggested a meeting which was the beginning of her recovery For Ann her recovery meant she had to unpick her life and rebuild it so that it didn’t involve alcohol – this took years and year one was particularly hard. This got me reflecting on our Tribe Sober community. We sometimes get people saying "I haven’t had a drink for 2 weeks – why do I still feel rubbish?!" When we embark on this life changing journey I think we have to be patient and play the long game –  listen to Tribe Sober podcast number 61 and you will hear Dr Dawn explain that for every year that we drank we should allow a month of recovery. What I’ve observed after helping hundreds of people to get sober is that it takes a year for sobriety to stick – 6 months of focusing on changing your behaviour so that you no longer drink, followed by 6 months of reconfiguring your life so that you can create a life you don’t want to escape from. As we always say you have to “throw the book at it” and give it your all – you heard Ann say that this journey is not for the faint hearted but the rewards are huge and the rest of your life will be healthier and happier – you know you’re worth it (as the hair colour ad used to say!) We talked about my decade of moderation and Anne reminded me that in Caroline Knapps book she says that the average period of “negotiation” we do is about 12 years. There has been a more recent study by the Tempest that says that it usually takes someone about 11 years between recognising that they have a problem with alcohol and reaching out for help This is where the power of community comes in – if I had been in a sober community when I was trying (and failing) to moderate my drinking, they would have told me to stop wasting my time trying to control and addictive substance.  Of course now I know that once we have crossed a line with our drinking there is no going back – we just have to ditch the stuff and learn how to thrive in our alcohol free lives. So if you are in that period of “negotiation”, setting rules, trying to moderate don’t waste 11 years of your life – go to tribesober.com and join our community today. We agreed that the liquor industry has hijacked the feminist movement convincing us we need mommyjuice to parent and wine for self care. Anne highlighted these facts in her book 8 years ago and she feels that things have got even worse since then. Women have to get smart and as Ann put it “democratically we are equal but metabolically and hormonally we are not equal to men” Ann is part of the Hola Sober team with the wonderful Susan Christina (you can listen to Susan Christina on Tribe Sober podcast episode 67). Ann is excited about the way the modern recovery movement is evolving and how there are so many different ways to get sober these days. We talked about the fact that sobriety will give us so much more than it takes away – if you are having a wobble in your sobriety then do the exercise that Ann’s son made her do – a list of gains and losses. She talks movingly about this on her fabulous TED talk – I’ll put the link in the show notes. Ann loves writing and runs an 8 week online recovery writing course which will help you to write your memoir and then get published – check it out on her website which is https://www.anndowsettjohnston.com/ I’ll put the link in the shownotes I loved her story about carrying Caroline Knapps Drinking a Love Story book in her brief case when she was contemplating getting sober – that’s what inspired her to write Drink so make sure you get a copy of that on Amazon and carry it in your bag – whether to inpire you or to keep you on track! It’s still January as we record this so if you are ready to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and test your dependence then please check out our January Challenge on tribesober.com – for a small donation to a good cause you will get online and community support for an alcohol free month And if its not January then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” – as a new member we’ll chat to you about your needs and design you a tailor made sobriety journey that will change your life!  SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x   PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Busting Sobriety Myths with Eusebius McKaiser

    44:08

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week I’m interviewing one of South Africa’s national treasures - author, journalist, and political analyst Eusebius McKaiser.  I first interviewed Eusebius in 2020 and that conversation remains our most downloaded episode – you can find it on Tribe Sober podcast episode 29 so please check it out later A couple of years later I ditched the drink, started Tribe Sober and noticed that he had signed up for our Dry January Challenge. Eusebius is now 3 years sober and is yet another example of how effective these short challenges can be – a taste of sobriety can sometimes bring about a permanent lifestyle change. If you are ready to try a Dry January then go to tribesober.com and check out the January challenge – for a small donation to a good cause you will get community and online support for an alcohol free month.   In this Episode The sober curious movement is growing – we have an endless variety of AF drinks, many online sobriety groups and even our own magazine Hola Sober. Eusebius believes that people should be free to make “bad choices” in life but did agree with me that education is important. Alcohol is a legal drunk which damages our health and drinkers need to be aware of that. When tobacco advertising was banned the information about the link with lung cancer was all over the media – if alcohol advertising was banned we would hear a lot more in the media about the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer. Women need to know that drinking more than 3 glasses of wine a week will raise their breast cancer risk by 15% We tackled a couple of sobriety myths – first of all the myth that we can’t have fun without alcohol – the truth is that once you have navigated those early difficult months of sobriety then it’s easy to have fun without booze – and lovely not to have to pay the price of a hangover the next day!Our subconscious minds have been convinced by a combination of marketing and peer pressure that we need alcohol to enjoy ourselves – to deprogram this thinking we need to spend a few months socialising without alcohol – its not easy but treat it as a challenge and you will get there – your subconscious will eventually get it! The second myth we busted was the myth that we need the buzz of booze to be creative – Eusebius wrote some of his early essays when on his way down from heavy drinking sessions but feels he has done some of his best writing since he’s been sober. We talked about the social pressure to drink which is relentless and hard to cope with when we are in the early stages of sobriety – alcohol really is the only drug we have to justify NOT taking That’s why CHALLENGES are so great – especially our January Challenge – we can just say “I’m raising money for charity by doing a Dry January” – nobody can really argue with that one! We get more confident dealing with peer pressure to drink as time goes by and eventually many of us are proud of our sobriety and eager to talk about it! Eusebius always maintains that it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking and is quite happy to be rude to people who interrogate him about his sobriety! We talked about dependency and I explained that I didn’t even realise what trouble I was in until I tried to cut down – and couldn’t.  That’s another reason challenges are great – its an opportunity to test your dependency – if you can get through a month without booze easily then you are fine – if not then you may need to make some changes! Do a challenge at least twice a year to keep your eye on your level of dependence. A challenge is also useful if you want to cut down your drinking – low risk levels are just one and a half bottles of wine a week (or 6 beers) – so do a challenge, have a month off the booze and then it will be easier to reset your drinking pattern. Eusebius stressed that the Earthchild project helps children to find a moment of peace in their difficult lives. Yoga may be perceived as a middle class pastime but in fact the postures and the breathing bring a sense of calm to children who grow up surrounded by gang violence and poverty. We concluded with a few tips and benefits of sobriety:- Eusebius main benefit which he wasn’t even expecting has been the time he has regained now he no longer drinks – he loves getting up early at the weekend and getting on with his day His tip was to stock up on AF drinks – Dry January Challengers get a discount from DN.co.za My benefit was sleep – as drinkers we get only 2 cycles of REM sleep (we need 7) – over the years we build up a permanent sense of fatigue if we drink – even a month off the booze will boost our energy levels My tip was to find your people – its very hard to change your drinking alone so join tribe sober! So I do hope we have inspired you to sign up for the January Challenge   SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x   PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).    
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Take a Break from Booze - Part 2

    38:03

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 7th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child.  Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January.  On this week's podcast we hear from 3 people who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up?  what was it like?  what tips do they have?  Let's hear from Jenny, Jimmi and Sybille:- In this Episode Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share  Throw the book at it! Both Jenny and Sybille have been reading all the quitlit and listening to all the podcasts.  As Sybille said if we understand the science behind alcohol dependence then we are more likely to stick with it – learn everything you can and eventually it will click! Work on your mindset – Sybille sees her alcohol free future as a very positive thing – a life full of benefits rather than some kind of punishment! Stock up on alcohol free drinks – if you are in South Africa and doing our January Challenge you can claim a discount from DrinkNil who will deliver to your door. Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason".  If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer.  You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Take a Break from Booze - Part 1

    49:07

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast is released on Christmas Day so by the time you get to hearing it the festivities will be drawing to a close and your thoughts may be turning to 2022.  We want to help you to make a healthy start to the new year so we've launched our 7th Annual Fundraiser which will provide you with online and community support for an alcohol free month - and enable you to help a disadvantaged child.  Talk about a win-win! We believe in Challenges here at Tribe Sober - every year we run our Sober Spring Challenge - and then another one in January.  On this week's podcast we hear from 3 ladies who did Sober Spring 2021 - why did they sign up?  what was it like?  what tips do they have?  Let's hear from Claire, Helena and Pam:-   In this Episode Like many of us Claire had fallen into the routine of drinking a bottle of wine every evening - and she wanted to make a change. Claire who wasn't sure that an online community would work for her - she thought she might be the "wrong generation" but in fact she loved it.  She posted comments daily and felt a deep connection with the other challengers. She didn't find it that difficult.  She had been "thinking about it" for so long that one she actually took action and signed up for the challenge she was more than ready - and got straight through 66 alcohol free days without a slip up! Then we heard from Helena who has struggled with drugs and alcohol for years but who is now making real progress. She was fascinated by the idea of a 66 day challenge and the fact that a new neural pathway can be created in this time. Pam explained  that she had been worried about her drinking for a while and that the challenge finally made it clear to her that "moderation" was not going to work for her.   Our Challengers had plenty of useful tips to share - "make a plan" was a big one - Claire explained that visiting an exclusive game farm carrying a huge bag of AF drinks may have bemused the staff but it enabled her to stay on track! Journalling was another important tip - buy a notebook, process your emotions and log your progress during the Challenge. Treat your Challenge as a research project - listen to podcasts, read the quitlit and learn everything you can. We often have a vague feeling that we need to do something about our drinking but a challenge will enable you to dip your toe in the waters of sobriety and take action - SIGN UP FOR THE JANUARY CHALLENGE HERE "Alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking" so doing a challenge is a great "reason".  If you have to explain to your family and friends why you are not drinking you can say "I'm raising money for charity by doing a Dry January!" An alcohol free month will enable you to experience some benefits of sobriety but to really experience the joys of alcohol free living you need to keep going a bit longer.  You will meet others on the challenge who will be keep to extend the challenge to 66 days, 100 days - even six months! Another great tip we heard from our Challengers was to reconfigure your day - shake up your routine a bit and you won't miss alcohol so much! If you are listening to this and it's not January don't worry - we've got you covered - all you need to do is to go to our tribesober.com and hit Join Our Tribe and we'll put you on our 30 day starter challenge for new members. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Alcohol - and Breast Cancer with Mocktail Mom

    56:12

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast guest is Deb from Kentucky who is known as Mocktail Mom - she hosts an awesome IG live session on Monday night called Making Friends & Mocktails.  She has her own recovery journey to share and like me she is a breast cancer survivor. Dramatically reducing your risk of breast cancer is one of the benefits of sobriety we don’t talk about much so we were both keen to highlight this issue during the conversation.   In this Episode Deb had done lots of challenges - we chatted about the value of short challenges and agreed that they can be counter-productive – 30 days is not quite long enough to experience the real benefits of sobriety so we are just doing the hard bit – and in the process our subconscious is registering that sobriety is difficult and not much fun! Don’t let that put you off from doing our January Challenge though – it’s a great way to dip your toe into the waters of sobriety and connect with other sober curious people – what usually happens is that some people decide to keep going for longer – sign up by going to TS.com and tapping January Challenge Deb didn’t start drinking heavily until she turned 40 when she started using it to cope with some major life challenges. This is a pattern I am beginning to notice with some of the people I meet these days – rather than drinking socially in their 20’s and 30’s which led them to becoming dependent in mid life, they hardly drank much at all until they reached their 40’s or 50’s and then used it to cope with difficult times. People who do take up drinking later in life tend to hit it hard and within a decade Debs drinking had escalated to a level that worried her. She felt a lot of shame about her drinking – she felt she was driving a car with a trailer behind it – the trailer of shame! What motivated her to finally take action was the prospect of her 50th birthday – she had the blues and decided that she was just not living the life she was meant to be living..- so she signed up for another challenge – but this time it was different… When she signed up for her final 30 day challenge she was still lacking in confidence - so convinced she would fail that she told no-one… she didn’t tell her husband or friends – however what was different this time was that she connected with other people who were doing the challenge – people she could talk to freely – she felt less alone as previously she felt she was the only person with this kind of problem! Deb had “found her people” and sure enough a group of the challengers decided to keep going when they got to the end of the 30 days – this is the way to do it, step by step. Avoid the “F” word – it’s just too scary when we are at the beginning of this journey. Step by step is the way to go - we have so many examples of people who have signed up Sober Spring or our January Challenge and then have extended it – first to 100 days, then to 6 months, then to a year. Here the thing: once you’ve got to a year of sobriety you feel SO different, physically and mentally that you just won’t want to go back to drinking.  You will be experiencing so many benefits that they will motivate you to carry on and it will become effortless – the new normal. So rather than your motivation coming from external forces (from your doctor, your family, a challenge) – your motivation will come from within - a much more powerful place. Deb learned the importance of planning – she would check in advance what drinks they were serving at the venue so she could decide what to drink and she would decide what she was going to say to people. She would play the movie forward which is one of our favourite tools here at Tribe Sober. We agreed that we felt embarrassed at first having to explain why we weren’t drinking but that passes with time and Deb now just says “I choose not to drink” and we agreed that “I’m just taking a break” is also a good one. I think we need to remember that although alcohol is the only drug we have to justify not taking it’s not our responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking – we must do what’s right for us. We agreed on the importance of not even contemplating having “one drink” – as Deb put it that would be a switch and she’d be off and looking for the party! We both notice that there is a bit of a societal shift towards sobriety these days – the #sobercurious movement is great and enables people who don’t even have a problem with alcohol to see what their lives are like without alcohol – to experiment a bit – and of course its so much lighter to say “I’m sober curious” than “I’m an alcoholic” (!) Deb listed her benefits which include better sleep, no more headaches, no more shame – she's lost weight and most important of all she feels a sense of freedom. I asked her for some tips for anyone listening who knows they need to make a change but is not ready to dive in just yet – her advice is to join some groups and just listen and learn – some of you may be doing just that as you listen to this podcast – your next step might be to join our January Challenge – use it to check your level of dependence – just be a bit sober curious. Go to ts.com and hit January Challenge for more info. One fairly compelling reason to quit drinking is that it will reduce your risk of breast cancer… Deb and I are both breast cancer survivors so we chatted about the fact that the evidence is stacking up linking alcohol consumption to breast cancer. We both had hormone receptor positive breast cancer and research shows that alcohol increases the risk because alcohol increases the levels of estrogen and other hormones in our bodies. Compared to women who don't drink at all, women who have three alcoholic drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer. Experts estimate that the risk of breast cancer goes up another 10% for each additional drink women regularly have each day. So dramatically reducing our risk of breast cancer is one benefit of sobriety we don’t talk about much – that’s why I wanted to highlight it in this podcast On a lighter note Deb started her Making Friends and Mocktails sessions on IG because she wanted to have fun in sobriety You can follow her on Mocktail Mom on IG – her live sessions are Monday at 9pm Eastern time Her website is mocktailmom.com and she’s also bringing out a Mocktail Box and a Mocktail Course soon More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Art Therapy and Addiction with Samantha Davis

    50:02

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week’s podcast guest is an Art Therapist.   Just as I didn’t realise how important yoga could be in recovery I also had no idea that Art Therapy had a role to play.. I interviewed Tribe Sobers yoga teacher Tamsin on episode 69 and today I’m chatting to Art Therapist – Samantha Davis Sami has operated a private Art Therapy practice for the past 18 years. She’s worked with people who struggle with stress, addiction, depression and also people wanting to discover more meaning and purpose in their lives.   In this Episode Sami began by defining Art Therapy which involves “using art materials to help a client to communicate and express themselves with the guidance of a qualified therapist". We discussed how as adults many of us have lost the ability to play – we tend to get caught up in productivity and ticking boxes. We need to get back in touch with our creativity and art therapy can help us to do that. Some people feel intimidated at the thought of Art Therapy thinking that they need some artistic skill. This is not true at all and in fact Sam loves clients who come to her with no knowledge or aptitude for “art” – Art Therapy is in fact a way of getting in touch with our creativity and playfulness. Art therapy can play in important role in our recovery – it can help us to reconnect with ourselves and better understand who we really are. It can help us to decrease our reliance on alcohol and build new and different pathways and coping mechanisms. As drinkers some of us spent years numbing our feelings. Art therapy will help us to get back in touch with our feelings - and to express ourselves creatively. Sami sees the Art as the Bridge between what is inside and what is outside – it’s simply a way to express ourselves. We discussed the fragility of early sobriety where Art Therapy can play the role of holding a safe space where we can “check in”. We talked about the power of vulnerability and how art therapy allows us to express our vulnerability Sam explained the concept behind the vision board sessions which help us to reconnect with our passions using images, art materials etc – I’ve done one of these sessions and can really recommend it – a vision board allows us to express ourselves and then the power of manifestion will come into play. Our subconscious will register our vision and help it to become a reality. The vision board workshop is particularly useful for people in sobriety as it helps them to get back in touch with what they really enjoy doing. We have extra time on our hands when we stop drinking so we need to find constructive ways to use that time.  Sam is quite happy to run a group vision board session for people in recovery so do get in touch with myself or Sam if you are interested. Sam explained that addictions mean that we are always busy focusing on our next fix which prevents us from being in the moment. Art Therapy can help with mindfulness and mental health generally – focusing on a creative project will enable us to get “in the flow”  which can give our minds a welcome break from stress and anxiety.  Art therapy can help us to build resilience and help us to recognize our triggers – all of which will help to prevent relapse. We often say that “connection is the opposite of addiction” here at Tribe Sober and we are referring to community. Sam helped me to realise that we also need to connect with ourselves – to get to know who we really are. Understanding ourselves better means that we can find new ways of coping – instead of using alcohol. At Tribe Sober we love learning about neuroscience, happy brain chemicals and our Lizard Brains – our gurus have been neuroscientist Staci Danfield who you can hear on episode 67 of this podcast and author of the Happy Brain, Loretta Breuning who is on episode 55. Sami explained that Art Therapy will also trigger our happy brain chemicals and will give us a boost in early sobriety when we can be plagued with a low mood. Loretta Breuning explained to us that we need a project in early sobriety to stay happy and focused. That’s why we have designed our 7 step program – to give you a project – the project of self discovery, so sign up for our Art Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Coaching and Root Cause Therapy. Just throw the book at it! Sam and I both run our workshops on Zoom these days and agreed that they work really well and we enjoy opening them up to people all over the world. Sam works with individuals and with groups. Sometimes an individual will need personal attention for their growth, healing or recovery. However the group sessions can be special – she believes that groups come together for a reason – they bring their life experience and of course a key part of the workshop is about sharing our stories. Jung calls this the “collective unconscious” – the people who need to be together come together.  I loved that and it made me think of our workshops and the synergy and bonding that I’ve witnessed during the 6 years of running workshops. For more info about Sam and her courses just go to her website which is arttherapy.co.za https://www.arttherapy.co.za/about-samantha-davis/ More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Why we need to Ditch the Drink in Mid-life - with Lori Massicot

    51:57

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This weeks podcast guest is the lovely Lori Massicot a midlife sobriety coach. I discovered Lori when I found her podcast – it’s called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life. She’s on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age.  She interviewed me for her podcast and you can hear that conversation on episode 182 of to 50 and beyond. It’s called “Getting Sober Over 60” and you can access it here In this Episode I’m always fascinated by the way peoples drinking evolves over the years – I’m the first person to admit that drinking can be a lot of fun – until it’s not – until you become dependent - check out our podcast on how we go from "liking to wanting to needing"  Let’s remember that 20% of social drinkers WILL become dependent over the years – if we are in that 20% then that doesn’t make us bad people – or weak people – or diseased people. It just makes us people who have become addicted to an addictive drug!  People who will have to do a bit of work to change their habits – and that’s where people like myself and Lori come in – we’ve been where you are and we can help you make the change.  As you heard Lori did the fun bit in her teens and 20’s – partying as a teenager and then working in real estate, earning good money and drinking wine with friends and colleagues. Then it was the mommyjuice phase – in here 30’s Lori felt depressed, put on weight and found her high pressure job all a bit much. She was using wine at home to cope with her stress and felt trapped in a vicious cycle. She refers to her early 40’s as the “dark years, she lost her mom and could get through two bottles of wine at a time. She had a wake up call when a family member asked her if she was an alcoholic.  That’s when she realised that alcohol had become the centre of everything in her life. Of course like many of us she tried “the rules” (drinking only on certain days, drinking red rather than white etc etc) which of course didn’t work. Of course she also tried to “moderate” but of course that didn’t work either - in fact we agreed that for many of us its only when we try to cut down that we realise the extent of our problem.  We realise that we have crossed a line with our drinking and it’s going to take more than a bit of willpower to make a change. So if you are busy trying to “moderate” and using rules to control your drinking please save yourself a lot of heartache and take a complete break – no need to use the F (forever word) – just take a break Every drinker needs to take regular breaks to test their dependence. Tribe Sober has just opened their annual Dry January Fundraiser which offers community and online support for 30 days - more info here. “Playing the Movie Forward” is a very popular tool in our community.  Lori found herself “playing the movie forward 20 years” and was  horrified at what she saw.  She knew her drinking would escalate over the years and decided that she was done.  She poured her Chardonnay down the sink and got started on her life changing journey to sobriety. Lori used journaling as her key tool –there is so much evidence of the value of keeping a journal – and it helps us so much when we are on this path. We can use it to process our emotions, note our triggers and track our journey.  We can read back to the early days and see how much easier its getting and realise how many benefits we are experiencing. And of course the more benefits we do experience the less likely we will be inclined to return to Day 1! Exercise was another key tool for Lori and she educated herself about the best ways to strengthen her body in midlife. So journaling, exercise and playing the movie forward are all great tools which will help us to quit drinking. We all need to create a personal toolkit and we help you with that at our regular Tribe Sober workshops.  Read more about our workshops here. Sobriety has given Lori freedom and peace. When she feels anxious she now understands how to self soothe without alcohol. I loved the way she said that in early sobriety we have to protect ourselves and build ourselves up so that we can learn to cope. Then we can go on to learn how to actually thrive our alcohol free lives. That’s exactly what we help our members to do at Tribe Sober with our 7 step program – get more info and sign up here.  We agreed that ditching the booze gives us a feeling of power - we are doing something that the majority of the population would not even consider - Sobriety is a Superpower! Times are changing and the sober curious movement is helping that. People are getting “sober curious” and wondering what their life would look like without it. Why not sign up for Tribe Sober's January Challenge and find out! Loris podcast is called "to 50 and beyond" and her website is here: lorimassicot.com. Lori coaches women on health, wellness and sobriety and you can contact her via her website and she’s also on Instagram. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    The Sober School with Kate Bee

    1:02:26

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Kate from the Sober School About 7 years ago when I was casting about for help with my own drinking problem I stumbled upon a blog by Kate who had already been sober for a couple of years.  She was the first person I ever heard suggesting that sobriety could be fun – rather than the grey and miserable place many drinkers imagine it to be.  I now know that she was absolutely right of course so it was a real pleasure to chat to Kate about her own drinking story and the work she is doing these days.   In this Episode When Kate looks back she realises that at University she used to drink alone in her room – even though there were numerous bars and opportunities to drink with other students! If you enjoy drinking alone then that’s a bit of a red flag because it means that you are not using it to “socialise” – you are using it to relax or perhaps to try to calm your anxiety. As you heard Kate cleverly gave up drinking at the tender age of 30 but for many of us the pattern seems to be that we DO use alcohol to socialise in our 20’s and 30’s and then as we get into our 40’s and 50’s it often turns more into self medication and that when we enjoy drinking alone. Kate had been worrying about her drinking for years before she actually did anything which is not at all unusual – A recent study highlighted the fact that it takes an average of 11 years between realising that you have a bit of a “problem” and actually doing something about it. This is a shame because for many of use our dependence and our unhappiness worsen during this period.  I think it takes such a long time to tackle our drinking for two reasons:-  1. As Kate said society tells us that we are either a “normal” drinker or we are a raging alcoholic –if we are a raging alcoholic we must to go AA – if not then we are fine.  We do see articles about “cutting down” which make it sound simple but of course once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking that becomes impossible.  Personally I spent my 11 years of procrastination trying to “cut down” so that I wouldn’t have to quit completely! 2. Second reason we resist reaching out for help is that we don’t know where to find it. Many of us don’t want to go to AA or we try it and it doesn’t work – then we just get stuck.  But times are changing and the modern recovery movement means there are many online solutions these days.  Solutions which work for the millions of people who are not “raging alcoholics” but they are not “normal drinkers” either.  Kate had been sober for 8 years and back then there was very little help around. However she discovered a blog – (the blog was Unpickled by Jean McCarthy) and it resonated with her.  For the first time she felt that there was someone out there “just like her” – which is exactly how I felt when I discovered Kate's blog.  So it’s all about “finding your people” – that’s the first step in the journey. Her own journey to sobriety began with a blog where she connected with others on the same path and did a 100 day challenge – she felt a “shift” after those 100 days and found herself reflecting on whether she could make sobriety enjoyable – rather than something to be “endured”. We both agreed that doing a Dry January is too short to experience any benefits of sobriety so by gritting our teeth and getting through all we teach ourselves is that sobriety is a miserable place to be! We discussed the value of of writing a Goodbye to Alcohol letter - you can check some out here I loved Kate's Breakthrough story when she was organising her 30th birthday party in early sobriety. Rather than organising a big party she decided to do it completely differently.  Accepting the fact that she actually didn’t like socialising in big groups she organised several small gatherings – and loved them.  She realised that she’d been using alcohol to squeeze herself into what society expected her to be! This happens to SO many of us and in fact a whole book has been written about the subject! Do get hold of a copy of the book Quiet by Susan Cain which explains that roughly 50% of society are introverts but society favours extravert behaviour which leaves many of us using alcohol as a coping mechanism – fascinating!  The subtitle of Susans book is:- The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and she argues that:  modern Western culture misunderstands and undervalues the traits and capabilities of introverted people, leading to "a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness". So if you ARE an introvert and use alcohol to help you cope then please read this book – it will help you understand yourself – and your power – so much better! Kate explained that the impact of quitting alcohol is deep – we lose our shame, guilt, worry which is SO freeing. We also free up our mental space and start keeping our promises. We agreed that another advantage of dealing with our drinking problem is that we get to know ourselves so much better than people who have never had to deal with addiction issues. Sobriety also means we start reflecting on what we really want out of life:- If we are an introvert and have been using alcohol to cope we may decide to embrace our introvert side and make some lifestyle changes Kate completely changed her lifestyle – she swopped her life in the city as a tv producer for a life in the country running the Sober School which helps other women to stop drinking. You can find Kate’s blog and more info about the Sober School on her website which is thesoberschool.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

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