Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

Killing Karoline with Sara-Jayne Makwala King

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Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

My guest this week is Sara-Jayne Makwala King

Sara-Jayne is a household name here in South Africa - she's a journalist, a radio presenter and an author.

In this Episode

  • Sara-Jayne’s birth was the result of an illegal affair between a white British woman and black South African man during apartheid – she shares her extraordinary story in her memoir Killing Karoline.
  • As a child she used to read voraciously as a form of escape and as a teenager she went on to develop eating disorders and cutting to numb her pain
  • Her alcohol use began to get out of control when she moved to Dubai – she never really acknowledged it was a problem as her brother was a severe “alcoholic” and she was not like him – she was a functioning alcoholic
  • We talked about alcoholism being on a spectrum… one end…the other..most of us are in between
  • Sara-Jayne got fired from her job as a journalist in Dubai for being so difficult – she felt so angry unhappy that one day she was even tempted to crash her car when driving along a busy road.
  • Her mother and partner got her into rehab – she was only supposed to stay for 28 days but she actually stayed for 10 months – she was learning, digging deep and becoming aware that she needed to “do the work” if she was to recover
  • Sara-Jayne believes that recovery can’t be forced on you – you have to be ready.  And she was ready
  • It was connecting with the other people in rehab that healed her – she appreciates the deep value of sharing
  • Sara-Jayne realized that she’d been carrying her birth mothers secret and shame for a long time – a secret that was not even hers to carry – that had been the root of her addictions and her unhappiness so these days she strives for truth and authenticity
  • She realizes that we can’t hang on to secrets and shame – the that only the truth will set us free
  • We see this at our workshops – when we ask people to share their stories you can see the relief in their faces as they tell their stories about how unhappy alcohol has been making them – stories they may never have said out load before
  • We agreed that “connection is the opposite of addiction” – scientifically proved by the “rat park” experiment which is featured in Johan Haris TED talk – Everything you thought you knew about addiction is wrong - catch it here
  • Sara-Jayne feels that Recovery is about finding a space where you can feel safe and share your feelings – it could be Tribe Sober or it could be AA – there are so many alternatives out there
  • We talked about the recent study by the Tempest which showed that the average time between realizing that you had a problem and getting help was 11 years – Sara-Jayne agreed that sounded about right but that we should acknowledge that seeds can be still be sewn and growth will take place during those years
  • If you are listening to this and would like a bit of support to make a change just go to tribesober.com and check us out – you can grab a freebie, do a challenge, join our community or do a workshop
  • Sarah-Jayne is on Cape Talk 567AM on Saturdays and Sundays 7-10am
  • You can buy Sara-Jayne's fascinating book Killing Karoline here

More info

  • Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE
  • To access our website click HERE
  • If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected]
  • If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected]
  • Episode Sponsor

          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE

          Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you 

        

 Help us to spread the word!

We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.

If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you!

We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 

You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE

Thank you for listening! 

Till Next Week

Janet x

PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)

1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.

2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field.

3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes).

4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews.

5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).

Altri episodi di "Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life!"

  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Why we need to Ditch the Drink in Mid-life - with Lori Massicot

    51:57

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This weeks podcast guest is the lovely Lori Massicot a midlife sobriety coach. I discovered Lori when I found her podcast – it’s called “to 50 and beyond” – it’s a podcast aimed at women in mid-life where she highlights the beauty of aging and the freedom that comes along with alcohol free life. She’s on a mission to raise awareness towards the life changing impact of sobriety as we age.  She interviewed me for her podcast and you can hear that conversation on episode 182 of to 50 and beyond. It’s called “Getting Sober Over 60” and you can access it here In this Episode I’m always fascinated by the way peoples drinking evolves over the years – I’m the first person to admit that drinking can be a lot of fun – until it’s not – until you become dependent - check out our podcast on how we go from "liking to wanting to needing"  Let’s remember that 20% of social drinkers WILL become dependent over the years – if we are in that 20% then that doesn’t make us bad people – or weak people – or diseased people. It just makes us people who have become addicted to an addictive drug!  People who will have to do a bit of work to change their habits – and that’s where people like myself and Lori come in – we’ve been where you are and we can help you make the change.  As you heard Lori did the fun bit in her teens and 20’s – partying as a teenager and then working in real estate, earning good money and drinking wine with friends and colleagues. Then it was the mommyjuice phase – in here 30’s Lori felt depressed, put on weight and found her high pressure job all a bit much. She was using wine at home to cope with her stress and felt trapped in a vicious cycle. She refers to her early 40’s as the “dark years, she lost her mom and could get through two bottles of wine at a time. She had a wake up call when a family member asked her if she was an alcoholic.  That’s when she realised that alcohol had become the centre of everything in her life. Of course like many of us she tried “the rules” (drinking only on certain days, drinking red rather than white etc etc) which of course didn’t work. Of course she also tried to “moderate” but of course that didn’t work either - in fact we agreed that for many of us its only when we try to cut down that we realise the extent of our problem.  We realise that we have crossed a line with our drinking and it’s going to take more than a bit of willpower to make a change. So if you are busy trying to “moderate” and using rules to control your drinking please save yourself a lot of heartache and take a complete break – no need to use the F (forever word) – just take a break Every drinker needs to take regular breaks to test their dependence. Tribe Sober has just opened their annual Dry January Fundraiser which offers community and online support for 30 days - more info here. “Playing the Movie Forward” is a very popular tool in our community.  Lori found herself “playing the movie forward 20 years” and was  horrified at what she saw.  She knew her drinking would escalate over the years and decided that she was done.  She poured her Chardonnay down the sink and got started on her life changing journey to sobriety. Lori used journaling as her key tool –there is so much evidence of the value of keeping a journal – and it helps us so much when we are on this path. We can use it to process our emotions, note our triggers and track our journey.  We can read back to the early days and see how much easier its getting and realise how many benefits we are experiencing. And of course the more benefits we do experience the less likely we will be inclined to return to Day 1! Exercise was another key tool for Lori and she educated herself about the best ways to strengthen her body in midlife. So journaling, exercise and playing the movie forward are all great tools which will help us to quit drinking. We all need to create a personal toolkit and we help you with that at our regular Tribe Sober workshops.  Read more about our workshops here. Sobriety has given Lori freedom and peace. When she feels anxious she now understands how to self soothe without alcohol. I loved the way she said that in early sobriety we have to protect ourselves and build ourselves up so that we can learn to cope. Then we can go on to learn how to actually thrive our alcohol free lives. That’s exactly what we help our members to do at Tribe Sober with our 7 step program – get more info and sign up here.  We agreed that ditching the booze gives us a feeling of power - we are doing something that the majority of the population would not even consider - Sobriety is a Superpower! Times are changing and the sober curious movement is helping that. People are getting “sober curious” and wondering what their life would look like without it. Why not sign up for Tribe Sober's January Challenge and find out! Loris podcast is called "to 50 and beyond" and her website is here: lorimassicot.com. Lori coaches women on health, wellness and sobriety and you can contact her via her website and she’s also on Instagram. More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    The Sober School with Kate Bee

    1:02:26

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! This week my guest is Kate from the Sober School About 7 years ago when I was casting about for help with my own drinking problem I stumbled upon a blog by Kate who had already been sober for a couple of years.  She was the first person I ever heard suggesting that sobriety could be fun – rather than the grey and miserable place many drinkers imagine it to be.  I now know that she was absolutely right of course so it was a real pleasure to chat to Kate about her own drinking story and the work she is doing these days.   In this Episode When Kate looks back she realises that at University she used to drink alone in her room – even though there were numerous bars and opportunities to drink with other students! If you enjoy drinking alone then that’s a bit of a red flag because it means that you are not using it to “socialise” – you are using it to relax or perhaps to try to calm your anxiety. As you heard Kate cleverly gave up drinking at the tender age of 30 but for many of us the pattern seems to be that we DO use alcohol to socialise in our 20’s and 30’s and then as we get into our 40’s and 50’s it often turns more into self medication and that when we enjoy drinking alone. Kate had been worrying about her drinking for years before she actually did anything which is not at all unusual – A recent study highlighted the fact that it takes an average of 11 years between realising that you have a bit of a “problem” and actually doing something about it. This is a shame because for many of use our dependence and our unhappiness worsen during this period.  I think it takes such a long time to tackle our drinking for two reasons:-  1. As Kate said society tells us that we are either a “normal” drinker or we are a raging alcoholic –if we are a raging alcoholic we must to go AA – if not then we are fine.  We do see articles about “cutting down” which make it sound simple but of course once we’ve crossed a line with our drinking that becomes impossible.  Personally I spent my 11 years of procrastination trying to “cut down” so that I wouldn’t have to quit completely! 2. Second reason we resist reaching out for help is that we don’t know where to find it. Many of us don’t want to go to AA or we try it and it doesn’t work – then we just get stuck.  But times are changing and the modern recovery movement means there are many online solutions these days.  Solutions which work for the millions of people who are not “raging alcoholics” but they are not “normal drinkers” either.  Kate had been sober for 8 years and back then there was very little help around. However she discovered a blog – (the blog was Unpickled by Jean McCarthy) and it resonated with her.  For the first time she felt that there was someone out there “just like her” – which is exactly how I felt when I discovered Kate's blog.  So it’s all about “finding your people” – that’s the first step in the journey. Her own journey to sobriety began with a blog where she connected with others on the same path and did a 100 day challenge – she felt a “shift” after those 100 days and found herself reflecting on whether she could make sobriety enjoyable – rather than something to be “endured”. We both agreed that doing a Dry January is too short to experience any benefits of sobriety so by gritting our teeth and getting through all we teach ourselves is that sobriety is a miserable place to be! We discussed the value of of writing a Goodbye to Alcohol letter - you can check some out here I loved Kate's Breakthrough story when she was organising her 30th birthday party in early sobriety. Rather than organising a big party she decided to do it completely differently.  Accepting the fact that she actually didn’t like socialising in big groups she organised several small gatherings – and loved them.  She realised that she’d been using alcohol to squeeze herself into what society expected her to be! This happens to SO many of us and in fact a whole book has been written about the subject! Do get hold of a copy of the book Quiet by Susan Cain which explains that roughly 50% of society are introverts but society favours extravert behaviour which leaves many of us using alcohol as a coping mechanism – fascinating!  The subtitle of Susans book is:- The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and she argues that:  modern Western culture misunderstands and undervalues the traits and capabilities of introverted people, leading to "a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness". So if you ARE an introvert and use alcohol to help you cope then please read this book – it will help you understand yourself – and your power – so much better! Kate explained that the impact of quitting alcohol is deep – we lose our shame, guilt, worry which is SO freeing. We also free up our mental space and start keeping our promises. We agreed that another advantage of dealing with our drinking problem is that we get to know ourselves so much better than people who have never had to deal with addiction issues. Sobriety also means we start reflecting on what we really want out of life:- If we are an introvert and have been using alcohol to cope we may decide to embrace our introvert side and make some lifestyle changes Kate completely changed her lifestyle – she swopped her life in the city as a tv producer for a life in the country running the Sober School which helps other women to stop drinking. You can find Kate’s blog and more info about the Sober School on her website which is thesoberschool.com More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
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  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Soberfishie Dawn tells her story...

    55:50

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Soberfishie Dawn. Her nickname is Fish. Of course she got the nickname because she drank like a fish! For Dawn her journey began back in 2016 when she decided to try an alcohol free year.  She blogged about her journey, decided to stay alcohol free and is now a Sobriety Advocate with a membership and a large social media following.   I always enjoy talking to people who do similar work to myself and in fact I had one of my “light bulb” moments during this conversation which I will highlight at the end.. In this Episode Dawns original plan was to do a Sober Year – she had done short stretches in the past but wanted to see what kind of results she got from a longer period.  Well the results were overwhelmingly positive which is why she is still alcohol free 5 years later! So if you’ve done lots of Dry January’s and Sober Octobers but then gone back to drinking with great enthusiasm then you’re missing out. You’ve done the hardest bit (those first few weeks are tough!) so now you need to keep going for a bit longer!  In 66 days when you will have built a new neural pathway you will not only find it easier but you will also experience more benefits - a win win situation which may well result in your choosing an sobriety as a permanent lifestyle choice. After all there is nothing so exhausting and demorolising as spending your life jumping on and off the wagon! Dawn shared her drinking story – started at 14 years old when she discovered that she didn’t really have an off switch once she got started.  She would pre-load her drinks before going out – in theory to save money on drinks when she was out but she would drink as much as ever. We both agreed that there was a time when we would anticipate the week ahead and not arrange any activities for the day after drinking as we knew we would be feeling miserable and hungover Inevitably Dawn set herself some “rules” to try to limit the drinking – she actually came up with one that I hadn’t tried – she set herself a curfew – a set time when she had to leave her event and come home. She actually managed this a few times but then found herself drinking when she got home!  Maybe to celebrate that she’d kept to her rule! We both suffered from blackouts and agreed that we’d put ourselves at risk in this way We also found ourselves at a bit of a loss when we first got sober – unlike “normal people” we had not built up hobbies or interests over the years because all our leisure time had been taken up by drinking! As Dawn put it we found ourselves wondering “what do normal people do with their time?!” Dawn got started on her sobriety journey by blogging and walking. She also "Saturated herself in Sobriety" to change her mindset.  Like many of us she needed to change her thinking about drinking!  Unlike willpower a different mindset will enable us to sustain our sobriety. We agreed that when we got sober 6 years ago sobriety had a definite image problem – it was seen as a dark and miserable place.  Things are changing and just a couple of weeks ago I interviewed Susan Christina, editor of the amazing Hola Sober monthly magazine.  This magazine is free and its busy making sobriety just as cool and glamorous as we all thought drinking was - you can access a copy HERE Dawn talked about what she calls her “contentment line” – when we drink we are either on a chemical high or on the hungover low – we rarely sit “on the line” which is actually where we live when we are sober. The contentment line is a peaceful and happy place to be – when Dawn feels a bit low and knows she is below her contentment line she knows how to self soothe – without alcohol.  In early sobriety we zig zag all over the line,  the highs of the pink cloud and the lows of FOMO but hang in there because the contentment line will be yours after you’ve done the work and notched up a period of sobriety. So talking of “doing the work” that’s where I got my light bulb moment thanks to this conversation with Dawn. It hadn’t really occurred to me until Dawn said it but “the work” is different for each of us AA talk about “doing the work” and of course they mean working systematically through every one of the 12 steps but I prefer William Porters approach that we should see it as a buffet and choose what works for us. For Dawn and myself “the work” has involved sharing our stories, writing about sobriety and leading a sober community – neither of us knew in advance that this was “our work” – we just did what felt right and gave us joy. So let’s think about sobriety as a journey of self discovery – some of us missed out on creating hobbies and interests because we were too busy drinking – but now we have time and even a bit of extra money to explore – to discover what we really like doing That’s why the Tribe Sober membership program offers yoga, nutritional advice, coaching and different types of therapy – we want to you to experiment and get to know yourself! I ended our conversation by asking Dawn to list her benefits and there were many! Quality of sleep, productivity, discovering work she loves, confidence – and specifically the confidence to go on two sober solo holidays!  Holidays she loved and can’t wait to go on more To find out more about Dawn go to her blog soberfish.co.uk and she is Soberfishy on IG.  She is also a moderator on William Porters brilliant FB group which is called Alcohol Explained More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Yoga in Recovery - with Tom & Tamsin

    1:09:39

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guests this week are Tom and Tamsin Sheehey, co-owners of The Shala Yoga Studio in Cape Town, South Africa.  They are both yoga teachers and Tom is also a health coach with expertise in nutritional guidance.  They will both be offering their expertise to the Tribe Sober members. In this Episode Tom’s studies were in what is now called “complimentary medicine” which we both agreed is a better description than “alternative medicine”. If we want to use things like nutrition, yoga, massage, acupuncture etc as part of our healing process then it should be seen as complimentary to traditional medicine – not as an alternative. He talks to us about how regular alcohol use can put the body in a state of chronic inflammation which is a pre-cursor to many illnesses including cancer. In fact a recent study showed evidence that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer https://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20160722/alcohol-seven-types-cancer  From his nutritional viewpoint Tom also pointed out that alcohol is simply liquid sugar which will affect our blood sugar levels which can lead to diabetes which again can lead to multiple health issues. We talked about whether alcoholism is genetic and Tom agreed that if people have alcoholism in the family then they may well be more pre-disposed to developing dependency issues but he firmly believes that our health is dependent partly on our genes, partly on environment and partly on our lifestyle. More on whether alcoholism is genetic in this podcast episode with Mary Anne Shearer - episode 31.  When Tom works with his clients we tends to coach people mainly on lifestyle changes as that is what is usually in our control. He talked about the negative impact of alcohol on the gut which is twofold. Not only does it prevent us from absorbing some of the nutrients in our food but it also means we are less efficient at expelling metabolic waste – resulting in increased toxicity. Tom coaches people around the 4 pillars of health which are diet, stress reduction, toxin reduction (alcohol being a toxin of course) and moderate exercise. He advises us to increase the three dietary essentials – oxygen, water and vegetables and reduce refined sugar refined salts and synthetic foods…. If you do this and remove the toxin that is alcohol you are going to feel amazing! Tamsin explained that she took up yoga because she wanted to access her body’s natural vitality. Although she was only in her early twenties she didn’t feel great and wanted to understand her body better.  20 years into her yoga practice Tamsin is a wonderful role model of health, strength and serenity. Becoming a yoga teacher has made her own practice sustainable as she integrates what she is teaching into her own body. She loves her healthy lifestyle and the fact that she now gets to “teach it forward” We talked about how yoga can help in recovery and Tamsin explained that it’s about coming home into your body. With the focus on breathing and mindfulness we become aware of what’s going on in our body.  Getting on our yoga mat gives us the opportunity to check in with our bodies and discover how we actually feel. If recovery is about connecting with something greater than ourselves then there is a consciousness that comes with yoga that can facilitate that. Yoga is not a competitive sport and Tamsin urged us not to be intimidated however old or unfit we are – especially now that we can do yoga online in the privacy of our own home! As we get older a yoga practice becomes more and more important – we need to keep our bodies strong and flexible and we need to move our joints to prevent arthritis. We are never too old to begin yoga and Tamsin explained that she has clients that do chair yoga or even bed yoga. She adapts the classes to her clients.  I discovered Tamsin after reading a feature in a magazine about “lymphasising” – I was recovering from cancer and read that it was an aid to recovery. So that’s how I discovered trampolines.  You heard her saying that bouncing was essential to health and wellness.  Tamsin begins her day with a session on the trampoline and sees that as a lifetime practice. If like me you spend all day sitting at your computer then get a mini trampoline and get up and bounce for 5 minutes every hour. There are SO many health benefits and we really do need to keep “doing the dishes” as Tamsin described it! Sobriety is a journey of self discovery. When we give up drinking we have time on our hands and recover our energy– we actually want to try new things and start to look around at other areas of our life. Do we need to clean up our eating habits, do we need to do more exercise and some yoga for example.   One of my podcast guests (Will Black on episode 52 calls this the Domino Effect) So if you think your diet could do with a bit of a review and if you are ready to give yoga a try then please take this opportunity. If you are not yet a member of tribe sober then please sign up today – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe. Once you are a member go into “members only” area of the website and you will see an ICON for yoga and one for nutrition – just hit the Icons to read more about Tom and Tamsin what they are offering to our members. You can do just one online Yoga session with Tamsin and a couple of sessions with Tom – so much to gain and absolutely nothing to lose! You can read about The Shala Yoga Studio on their website www.theshala.co.za More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Sobriety Goes Punk - with Jon Turner

    1:05:04

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Jon Turner, the founder of Soberpunks – he is a musician, a blogger and is busy helping others to ditch the drink. He shares his personal recovery story and explains how he feels that not drinking is not only rebellious but it’s positively punk..   In this Episode Like many of us Jon spent a decade trying to cut down – using those tried and tested “rules” that of course are useless once our drinking has crossed that line into dependence – lets face it people who can moderate just do it – they don’t need to impose any rules We agreed that accepting that we can not drink any alcohol at all is a key moment on the path to sobriety – “if you can’t have one – have none” or as AA say “one glass is too many and a thousand is not enough” Jon drank as a teenager and found that he quickly became the one urging the rest of his mates to drink more and more – we discussed the fact that for some of us the buzz of alcohol is more intense than others – and that’s one of the reasons we get hooked when others can take it or leave it It was love that gave Jon the impetus he needed to give up drinking – he met a woman who loved him but hated the person he became when he drank – she made it pretty clear that she would not be sticking around if he continued to drink – so he stopped – and they got married What I really love about Jon’s story is that he gave up drinking to please his partner – but after a few months of sobriety he realized that his life was SO MUCH BETTER without the booze he was motivated to continue. Many of us give up drinking to save our relationships and our health but not many of us are expecting sobriety to be much fun. I for one was expecting it to be a grey and boring place but in fact it’s turned out to be the opposite for both Jon and myself – so if you’re listening to this and you know you need to ditch the booze just try it for 6 months – you will be amazed at the improvements in your life and the chances are you will want to stay alcohol free. Jon eventually got divorced from the lady who convinced him to stop drinking. By then he was hooked on his sobriety and had not intention of restarting his drinking career.  As he puts it – “it would only make a horrible situation worse” That got me thinking about one of our recent Zoom Cafes – several of our members had been through a very tough time – three of them had recently lost a parent and they all said – I’m SO grateful to be sober – I have the strength to cope so much better. I found that really interesting as I remember feeling relatively secure in my sobriety after about six months but often wondering if I would turn to alcohol if something dreadful happened – so it’s lovely to hear that Lucy, Merleen and Lexi were not even tempted. Well done ladies. Jon and I agreed that being present for the tough times is key to our emotional development – I remember listening to a podcast with Glennon Doyle when she describes alcohol as the “easy button” that we use to bypass the pain – but we are also missing out on an opportunity to become stronger. Along with being present comes the importance of “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable” – sitting with our thoughts is part of the healing process and can be cathartic. We talked about dealing with partners who drink too much and agreed that people have to want to do it for themselves rather than for anyone else – although Jon had in fact give up for his girlfriend he had been struggling for a long time and was pleased to get a concrete reason to make the change. He did say that sometimes the partner has to decide that in order to protect themselves they will just have to walk away – which can be really hard but may avoid years of pain. I asked Jon to list the benefits of sobriety and he had plenty! Weight loss and having more energy (stop drinking and start running was his advice) Reduction in anxiety – Jon used to have such a feeling of dread on his way into work that he was wishing his train would crash! -  since he is sober he is enjoying his work and is busy fulfilling his career potential. That made me think of one of my previous podcast guests – Ken Middleton, episode 23 - he said “even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential” – that is so true. Jon feels sobriety is a journey of self discovery and he is learning so much about who he is and what he really likes to do. We talked about the joys of a sober community – about how we immediately understand each other and can have fun together – we agreed that ex drinkers have been through a lot and proved themselves to be strong and resilient people – yes ex drinkers rock! Jon is passionate about the fact that those of us in recovery must support others as part of our own recovery – that’s exactly what he is doing via his blogs and his FB group. So if you want to join a community please check out tribesober.com and also take a look at the SoberPunkGang FB group.  You can find Jon’s blog on soberpunks.co.uk   More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Rebranding Sobriety - with Susan Christina

    53:36

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Susan Christina is an Irish lady living in Spain. She’s on a mission to rebrand sobriety and make alcohol free living as attractive and glamorous as we thought drinking was She’s an advocate for the modern recovery movement and wants women to take back their power!   In this Episode   Susan is using her considerable communication and marketing skills together with her experience in the global drinks industry to rebrand sobriety. She talked about the way that the wine industry has targeted women and how we have bought into the idea that wine is our “me time” – we’ve come to believe that a glass of wine is an act of “self care” when in fact it’s the exact opposite for many of us! Susan’s personal story was a familiar one – successful career woman holding down a responsible job, bringing up a family – and drinking a bottle of wine a day. I think so many of us can identify with her description of getting home, opening a bottle of wine and gradually working our way through it during the evening – it just felt so normal and because we weren’t getting “drunk” we didn’t really think twice about it. But 7 bottles of wine a week is not sustainable – as she says we have to ask ourselves not whether we are an alcoholic but whether we can sustain a happy and healthy life drinking this amount of alcohol every week. Like many of us Susan was able to change course when she found “her people” – she signed up for the Sober School and met other people like herself – people she could relate to – she felt she had found accountability partners and connection. The relief of finding other people on the same path is considerable. She created a WhatsApp group and talked about having “people in her pocket” who she could reach out to when she is travelling – that’s exactly what we provide with our membership program – an international community who support and encourage each other – because connection is the opposite of connection. Go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” if you would like to join a community who are busy supporting each other on this life changing journey. Knowledge is everything and so many of us drink for decades without the slightest idea of the harm it is doing us. Even when I got breast cancer I was still in denial – I simply refused to join the dots and carried on drinking. Susan found that once she had understood the complexity, the toxicity and the way we use alcohol to numb the pain she began to see everything differently and was able to make the changes she needed to. I asked Susan what the biggest benefit of sobriety has been for her and she said “being present” - present for the ups and downs of life – after all our personal growth comes for being present and dealing with difficulties, rather than zoning out. She talked about the “drinking train” that many women board and pointed out that it was only travelling one way – the way of increasing dependence, rehab and for some people it’s unfortunately travelling to disease and death. Susan set up a support group for her class when she graduated from Sober School and sent them daily mails and PDF’s to keep them inspired. She started to collate this content which gave birth to the fabulous monthly magazine she now edits which is called Hola Sober. This magazine is quite simply rebranding sobriety – from a place of struggle to an aspirational lifestyle choice. It is a beautiful publication and relects how to live fully and joyfully in sobriety. It’s absolutely free so sign up and then share it with everybody you know.  Susan also has a website called holasober.com as well as an IG account – just this week she’s published a brilliant PDF called “The Giant Feck” which is a must read. Susan and I agreed that AA is not the only gig in town as she puts it – there are so many alternatives. We are both providing alternatives to AA and the people we work with would never dream of going to AA.  Woman are bonding together via recovery groups – women are taking back their power! All of us on this journey need to be advocates of the Modern Recovery Movement – we are part of something powerful – we’ve got smart and are seeing through the BS pumped out by the liquor industry. Sobriety is a Superpower so lets get the word out there – lets get this sober party started! Step one in making a change is to find a community – find your people – if you are looking for a community then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Anxiety and Alcohol - Casey Joins up the Dots

    1:04:41

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Casey McGuire Davidson who is from Seattle in the US. Like me Casey was caught in the corporate workhard/playhard culture as well as the mommyjuice trend…using alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety and becoming  more dependent over the years… But somehow we both found our way out of that trap and now we are finding joy in helping people to do the same In this Episode Casey realised in her 20’s that she had no “off” switch – I think that’s true of many of us yet we delude ourselves that we don’t have a problem because we can go for days without drinking – but if you do finding yourself drinking far too much after that first glass then you probably need to make some changes Casey’s first glimpse into the trouble that alcohol can cause came when she read “A love story” by Caroline Knapp – if you are worried about your drinking then reading some QuitLit is a great way to start – if you want a reading list then just email me [email protected] Casey went to doctors and therapists about her anxiety and insomnia – most of which was caused by alcohol but she was in denial about her drinking and just didn’t CONNECT THE DOTS Like many of us Casey started making rules – in fact Casey and I had a whole conversation about the rules we used to make that you can find on her podcast (Hello Someday – episode 77 )  The reason we make these rules of course is that we are still trying to moderate as we can’t imagine our life without it – having to give up completely is our worst nightmare – whereas with hindsight both Casey and myself can say that giving up completely was the best thing we ever did! Casey managed a year of sobriety (partly due to her pregnancy) but then was soon back to her bottle a night habit. The second time she gave up she understood so much more – she had joined up the dots and realized that alcohol was the cause of her anxiety and insomnia. She hired a Sober Coach and checked in with her every single day – because she was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Many of us get to this stage eventually – at our workshops I often hear people say “I’m done – I just can’t do this anymore” – and those people usually succeedand go on to thrive in their sobriety We talked about the strong women we work with – and how many of us managed to hold it all together through the drinking years. Once we are liberated from the shackles of alcohol addiction there is no stopping us and we go on to achieve great things.  Sobriety is a Superpower I always say!  We talked about mindshift – Casey has gone from seeing alcohol as a “reward” to seeing it as a “maladaptive coping strategy” – alcohol is NOT self care – how on earth did the liquor industry convince us that a “glass of wine at the end of the day” was an act of self care when for many of us it’s the opposite! I loved Caseys description of her breakthrough moment – how on Day 16 she’s had a terrible day at work and wanted to buy a bottle of wine so much she was actually shaking – she managed to resist and then continued to get stronger. I loved her “magnet” analogy as well – how the pull of alcohol is SO strong in the early days of sobriety but the more AF days we stack up the weaker the pull  “Sober Firsts” are so important – Casey cleverly reconfigured her Italian holiday so she went to bed early, got up early to explore, went on gelato crawls instead of wine crawls and treated herself with Venetian jewellery with the money she'd saved from not drinking. Casey has some great analogies – we heard the magnet one and she also talked about how being dependent on alcohol was like carrying a backpack of rocks around – and how sobriety lets you put the burden down. Apart from reducing her anxiety and improving her sleep Casey loves the clarity of mind that sobriety gives us – we can look at our lives with fresh eyes and sometimes we can spot the things which were actually driving us to drink You heard Casey saying that she realized that corporate life had lost its appeal and that she wanted to retrain as a coach which has given her real purpose in her life I asked her for a final tip and love this one:- “don’t wait until you WANT to stop drinking – it’s never going to happen! -  just say you are sober curious and want to take a break to see what sobriety feels like.  Keep going for a few months and you’’ begin to glimpse the joy that alcohol free living can bring. Do have a listen to Caseys podcast which is called Hello Someday, her website is called hellosomedaycoaching.com, she does 1.2.1 coaching as well as offering a course and some freebies. Another great analogy we heard from Casey is that in early sobriety we really have to “throw the book at it” – make it a priority for 6 months, treat it as a research project and “do the work” – the payback will be huge! So check out Caseys website, think about joining Tribesober.com, read the quitlit, listen to the podcasts.. Step one in making a change was to find a community – find your people – if you are looking for a community then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Some Good Clean Fun with Sarah Kate

    1:10:30

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is from Canada! Currently we have the grand total of 4 Canadian members in our tribe and we would love to welcome some more! Sarah Kate agrees with me that we need to “get smart” and see through the constant pressure from Big Alcohol to consume their product – the wine industry has particularly targeted women, trying to convince us that “mommy needs wine” etc etc Well here is one mommy that’s fighting back! In this Episode Sarah Kate had some scares with alcohol – going over the top a few times but generally progressed in her drinking career like many of us As a career girl in her 20’s she began to realise that she had no “off” switch – this happens to many of us and I think it’s a real warning sign – when we can go for days without even thinking about alcohol but once we’ve had a couple of drinks we just want to keep going! We agreed that we seek out friends who drink like us so that we can validate our own drinking Many of us in the tribe had friends and relatives who would helpfully suggest that we just “had a couple” of drinks (rather than a whole bottle!) – and that’s the beauty of the tribe – we understand each other and would never suggest that! Sarah Kate passed out on the bathroom floor at her 30th birthday party and began to feel ashamed of her drinking problem We talked about the shame women feel about their drinking and agreed that so many of us get trapped because of it – we don’t want to “come out” about our problem so we battle alone and get nowhere, just more dependent and more depressed– have a listen to Claire Pooleys fabulous TED talk called “Making Sober Less Shameful” As Sarah Kate went on to become a mom she got more and more dependent and after the birth of her second child she became seriously worried that her baby would be affected by the alcohol levels in her breast milk. She was part of the mommyjuice culture and believed the hype that “moms need wine” taking a sippy cup of wine to the farmers market We talked about how crazy kids parties have become and how even at 1 year old parties the wine is flowing Sarah Kate tried to moderate many times – she is a runner and would schedule her drinking around her running – she feels she was running to counteract her addiction – almost as a punishment She finally managed to make a change when she read The Naked Mind – realizing that drinking heavily for a number of years will make anyone become dependent - alcohol is an addictive drug and that’s what it will do! That’s when Sarah Kate realized that there was nothing wrong with her and was able to ditch the shame and make a change She did Annie Grace’s Alcohol Experiment and while she was not 100% alcohol free she probably reached a very respectable passgrade of 90% We talked about the value of seeing the big picture – that’s why Tribe Sober offers annual trackers so that people can observe their sober stretches getting longer and longer and keep some perspective – much less danger of giving up if you have a slip up – if youd like an annual tracker then just email me at [email protected] On Christmas day Sarah Kate found herself buying a bottle of red wine (even though husband doesn’t drink wine and her kids certainly don’t!) – it made her reflect on the power of conditioning – if it’s a holiday we must drink! (what an amazingly effective job Big Alcohol has done!) In fact her daughter was furious with her for having a glass of wine at Christmas lunch so that was it for Sarah Kate – she wanted to be a role model for her kids – someone who could stick to a commitment – so that was it for her We talked about the importance of education and how every university should offer a module called “The Science Behind Drinking Alcohol” rather than irresponsibly forcing dangerous quantities of alcohol on new students who are away from home for the first time Sarah Kate also emphasized that we should remember that it often takes a long time to pull ourself out of the clutches of alcohol and that we have to be patient – especially if we’ve been drinking for decades! Sarah Kate is playing a role in educating us about alcohol via her online magazine “somegoodcleanfun.com” She’s coming at it from the wellness angle and has created it’s a platform which will encourage us to “rethink drinking” – as individuals and as a society. Not so much a sobriety magazine but more a platform aimed at women who care about their health (eat organic, gluten free, exercise etc – yet still drink a bottle of wine a day) – she wants them to appreciate the impact that alcohol has on womens health. We agreed that the explosion of the alcohol free drinks markets was a very positive sign of a societal shift We agreed that step one in making a change was to find a community – find your people – if you are looking for a community then just go to tribesober.com and hit “join our tribe” More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Killing Karoline with Sara-Jayne Makwala King

    59:20

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Sara-Jayne Makwala King Sara-Jayne is a household name here in South Africa - she's a journalist, a radio presenter and an author. In this Episode Sara-Jayne’s birth was the result of an illegal affair between a white British woman and black South African man during apartheid – she shares her extraordinary story in her memoir Killing Karoline. As a child she used to read voraciously as a form of escape and as a teenager she went on to develop eating disorders and cutting to numb her pain Her alcohol use began to get out of control when she moved to Dubai – she never really acknowledged it was a problem as her brother was a severe “alcoholic” and she was not like him – she was a functioning alcoholic We talked about alcoholism being on a spectrum… one end…the other..most of us are in between Sara-Jayne got fired from her job as a journalist in Dubai for being so difficult – she felt so angry unhappy that one day she was even tempted to crash her car when driving along a busy road. Her mother and partner got her into rehab – she was only supposed to stay for 28 days but she actually stayed for 10 months – she was learning, digging deep and becoming aware that she needed to “do the work” if she was to recover Sara-Jayne believes that recovery can’t be forced on you – you have to be ready.  And she was ready It was connecting with the other people in rehab that healed her – she appreciates the deep value of sharing Sara-Jayne realized that she’d been carrying her birth mothers secret and shame for a long time – a secret that was not even hers to carry – that had been the root of her addictions and her unhappiness so these days she strives for truth and authenticity She realizes that we can’t hang on to secrets and shame – the that only the truth will set us free We see this at our workshops – when we ask people to share their stories you can see the relief in their faces as they tell their stories about how unhappy alcohol has been making them – stories they may never have said out load before We agreed that “connection is the opposite of addiction” – scientifically proved by the “rat park” experiment which is featured in Johan Haris TED talk – Everything you thought you knew about addiction is wrong - catch it here Sara-Jayne feels that Recovery is about finding a space where you can feel safe and share your feelings – it could be Tribe Sober or it could be AA – there are so many alternatives out there We talked about the recent study by the Tempest which showed that the average time between realizing that you had a problem and getting help was 11 years – Sara-Jayne agreed that sounded about right but that we should acknowledge that seeds can be still be sewn and growth will take place during those years If you are listening to this and would like a bit of support to make a change just go to tribesober.com and check us out – you can grab a freebie, do a challenge, join our community or do a workshop Sarah-Jayne is on Cape Talk 567AM on Saturdays and Sundays 7-10am You can buy Sara-Jayne's fascinating book Killing Karoline here More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).
  • Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol free life! podcast

    Managing Difficult Conversations - with Andrea Newton

    45:20

    Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life! My guest this week is Andrea Newton. Andrea is a Corporate Consultant, Keynote Speaker,  Mental Health Advocate and a Podcast Host.  Alcohol took Andrea to a dark place but thankfully she recovered and is now doing some very worthwhile work. In this Episode I found Andrea’s account of how alcohol made her feel suicidal as rather chilling – the fact that she actually had a plan to end her life – and her point that alcohol can provide that “Dutch Courage” to actually go through with it These days Andrea works for the National Centre for Suicide Prevention Centre in the UK – she delivers a workshop that helps people to have crucial and difficult conversations – which can save lives. She explained that the risk of suicide is 8 times higher if alcohol is involved and that 20% of suicides in young people in the UK are alcohol fuelled. We discussed the “work hard play hard” culture that pervades in so many companies –and the fact that you are sometimes perceived as “boring” if you don’t go for the weekly drinks with your colleagues It can even have career implications as well – when was in my 20’s I worked for the BBC and I remember being given a nudge by my boss to go to the BBC Club more often as it was valuable for “networking” – so I did and it was there I discovered that drinking was an essential part of the networking! I mentioned the book (and TED talk) Quiet by Susan Cain about introverts/Extraverts introverts often use alcohol as a coping mechanism to help them manage pressure of networking, entertaining clients – and of course socializing – if you are an introvert then please read this book – it will be very good for your self esteem – after all we live in a society that often seems to favour extraverts We talked about the difficulty of socializing in early sobriety and how it’s actually the drunk people rather than the sober ones who are the “boring” ones – I shared the tip from our Tribe Sober toolkit that it helps to “be an anthropologist” We talked about the pandemic and the fact that working from home may have encouraged more people to rely on alcohol – and the fact that managers may have to deal with this issue when employees return to work Which led us to discuss her consulting work which is based around 7 conversations – “difficult conversations” that many managers may struggle with. Andrea helps them to structure these conversations and offers them some very valuable training. It struck me that these “difficult conversations” are of course something that many of us have to deal within our personal lives as well– the kind of conversation we may need to have with a family member who is drinking too much. I’m planning on asking Andrea to write a guest blog for our website on this subject. Do have a listen to Andrea’s podcast as there is so much helpful advice in there – advice about how to have difficult conversations in our work and our personal lives To contact Andrea go to her website www.confidentconversations.co.uk and her podcast is Really Useful Conversations If you are listening to this podcast and are really feeling low or you know someone who is suicidal then please contact Andrea  – or you can email me on [email protected] and we’ll connect you to someone who can help More info Subscription membership for Tribe Sober is just R85 (£4/$6/$8AUS) a month - you can join up HERE To access our website click HERE If you would like a free copy of our "Annual Tracker" or our e-book "66 Days to Sobriety" please email [email protected] If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email [email protected] Episode Sponsor           This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today           Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE           Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you            Help us to spread the word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast then please leave us a 5 star review on Apple podcasts, take a screenshot of your review and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page - see PS for instructions - we'll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram  You can catch our FB live on Saturday mornings (11am SAST) and you can join our private Facebook group HERE Thank you for listening!  Till Next Week Janet x PS   How to leave an rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device) 1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY. 2. Choose "Search" from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., "Recover Like A Mother") into the search field. 3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). 4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. 5. Click "Write a Review" underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You'll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale, and write a review (you can rate without writing, too but it's always good to read your experience).  

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