I'm Not Drowning Anymore

Just a few raw unfiltered thoughts of a big decision 

Can a story about the birds be a negative thing?Today I want to introduce you to Athena, Athena is one of the people in my life that I wonder how she wasn’t there sooner. The conversations, space that reminds me how real and valid all the things we experience and feel in this life are, how she isn’t afraid to be honest, and truly owns the life she gets to live. I’ve got a deep respect for this girl and an even greater ability to lose track of time while we chat Athena is one who has learned and absorbed what it is to grow within oneself, to take every experience and ask, “how do I see myself, and how can I improve.” It takes a lot to be one that seeks to explore with joy and wonder, while never losing sight of the weight every moment holdsWe chat about what it means to feel justice and fairness, both as a kid, and in our adult relationships, what it means to give yourself grace, yet still hold yourself accountable to what you know you can achieve and not let fear get in the way She shares how a book she is reading led to a question, one she asks me, and one I believe speaks to what we value, or even what we should lean into valuing most in lifeWe chat about the impact of major life changes, ones we have both made, and ones that others tried to keep us from making, how outside validation should not dictate your life, and how you wanting something is enough of a reason to pursue itAthena is the kind of friend we don’t always get to know in this life, the kind we must be real and honest with ourselves first, but when you are, and when you get to meet someone like her, it reminds you how worth self acceptance and pursuit of those who see you truly isSo tune in and meet Athena, and maybe, just maybe, you might see something in yourself in our chat that makes you smile And to you Athena thank you, thank you for being you, being real, being one who emphatically nods yes and says “GIRL yes” when I spill how I feel, for living fully and reminding me to do the same, and for every hour we have and will spend talking about all that life throws our way, the things we choose to catch and let fall

Do you have expectations for those you love?Today I want to introduce you to Amir, I’ve known Amir for a few years now, and have had the pleasure of simply sharing time over tea, talking about whatever comes to mind, hearing what he is creatively passionate about, and simply being presentAmir is one that holds a presence and intention in a way I admire and do not often come across, he is one who is intent on taking time to simply, gain the value of timeThis conversation is one that shares so much of how he views the world, how the heart of a 5 year old that is bright and full of curiosity inspires us to live, and how his profound experience growing up across three cultures has granted him an ability to see humanity with a lens few of us get to knowWe chat about what it means to watch fear transition to joy, what it means to evolve and not simply change, and what intention and agenda truly hold when it comes to our connections with others We chat through the first failure of this podcast in over four years and I’m grateful for the genuine response in the authentic way you get to hear this unfold right alongside his genuine desire to be filled with joy and sincere value of time shared Amir is one that speaks from a place of wisdom; not the kind that looks down on you, not the kind that feels like a book being opened before you, but the kind that knows deep in his soul what it is to know what matters most in this world, and simply how to communicate that to another So tune in today and meet Amir, a human using his life to open as many doors as he can for others, and one who would love to learn from whomever life brings into his And to you Amir thank you, thank you for the intentional space I have always shared with you to simply connect, with an agenda to simply share space and time. You are a light and warmth in this world and I am inspired and find my spirit lifted when I am reminded how you choose to show up in this world. Thank you for taking the time, for your gracious patience, and for the way you share sincerely from this life

What if the world told you that how you defined yourself and your roles were wrong? Today I want to introduce you to Julie, Julie is the person I call when I shouldn’t ask the questions in my head, she’s the one that hears parts of me very few others even know exist and one that has grounded me in some of the hardest times and laughed with me in some of the silliest moments Julie is a human that has accomplished so much, she is one that has chosen to live a life and treat it like a journey to learn from and give back to others on; both as an CRNA, a friend, a mother, and a woman living life in a way that reminds others to stay true to who you areWe chat about how titles impact how others see us, how roles are often accompanied by expectations, and most importantly, how we need to define those for ourselves and not what another determines for us. She shares why fear is something to listen to, to understand when in our lives we need to lean in and overcome it, or if it is one we need to respect and listen to, but ultimately how fear is to be navigated We chat about the importance of authenticity, not just for what others see but for ourselves, to know what it means at the end of your life to be at peace with how you lived, what you put into the world, and what legacy you choose to leave behind. we chat about knowing what brings you deep and meaningful joy and the importance of checking in with yourself and being sure you are pursuing those things Julie is one that loves others well, one that has many “roles” in this world, but one that I admire most for how she respects and listens to the role of being her and who she is meant to be So tune in today and meet Julie, someone who if you are fortunate enough to meet will change your life, and someone that if you only ever get to hear this conversation, will remind you that knowing yourself in and out of your roles in this life is worth stepping into with confidence And to you Julie thank you, thank you for being the force of love and grounding that you are in my life, thank you for your endless wisdom, non existent judgment, complete understanding of my sarcasm, and general tolerance for my inability to sit still. You truly cannot be summed up in any title, role, or story, and yet you hold each one so beautifully. Thank you for being in my life 

Today I want to introduce you to Ren, I met Ren in Australia a little less than a year ago when I was walking in Sydney, something about her gentle smile and the way she chose to match a strangers glance gave me a taste of who I have found her to beWe are having today’s chat in Mexico where I’ve had the pleasure of sharing this week with her and getting to confirm what that first encounter showed me, that she is truly one who holds softness, sincerity, and a kind honesty in a way I deeply admire We chat about what it means to find purpose in impacting others positively, how respect and the ability for friends to speak how they feel matters, and the challenge in embracing community and being self reliant She shares what she’s loved in becoming a circus performer, the pride in starting life over in a new country, and the gratitude she feels for what she does in her work Ren is someone that will remind you to be real, be kind, to see others and let yourself be seen in sincerity So tune in today and meet Ren, a joyous and genuine human And to you Ren thank you, thank you for smiling back when I first met you, for taking a chance and joining me in Mexico, and for sharing more of your heart, you are such a gem and I’m so so grateful to have had this time with you

When was the last time you were truly alone?Today I want to introduce you to Ignacio, Ignacio is a human that looks on the life he is living with eyes to learn in ways so many of us, can learn from. He is one that shares openly of how life has been changing him and one that listens and invests his time in showing up in ways a appreciate and admireWe chat about how who we have been, what those that have been in our lives teach us, and the gift it is to get to learn, evolve, and become who we are; how being believed in can change everything, but how believing in ourselves is always enough.He shares how time with others wasn’t always something he put first, but how he deeply values remembering that those times are what the hard work is all for. He shares what it is to be defined by something we do, and how that being our foundation risks being taken from us if we stop, and how who we are is something so much deeper. We chat about time spent alone, how routine and discipline are the greatest factors in succeeding in this life, and how not missing out on yourself matters more than pushing yourself when you need to restIgnacio is one that holds a lot of wisdom, not just for his age, but as a human, as someone who has chosen to let life be felt, to look to who is, has been, and who he is becoming with a heart to see that person and honor what it means to be him; he is someone I respect and admire, and one I’m honored to share with you today So tune in and meet Ignacio, a human that will remind you of the joy and warmth that exists in this world, the treasure of being present and how it changes us, and teach you some fun facts about the mystical things that happen where he grew upAnd to you Ignacio thank you, thank you for the way you fix your attention on who sits in front of you, for how you chose to show up and share time with me, for how you made me feel valued in our time, for the gentle and kind way you are with who you are becoming and the reminder for me to do the same. You are what this world needs more of, and I look forward to seeing you again soon my friend 

What if it all worked out? What if you took a chance and it was better than you imagined?Today I want to introduce you to Ornella a human that chooses to hold on to her sweet side. I’ve found parts of society tries to hold back and at times even criticize women who lead with gentleness; truth is it is a strength to show someone a softness, a smile, and the sweetness in us first, and I’m so grateful for women like Ornella who do just thatOrnella is one that will see you, make you feel welcome, but do so with a genuine and gentle spirit, giving you space to be yourself but letting you know “you are welcome here” in how she interacts with youWe chat about what it means to be a mix of an introvert and an extrovert, how maybe it isn’t all so black and white as we used to be told. We talk about how the presence of one person in her life can calm her and the value of health to know those she loves, and herself can continue to pursue whatever life puts in front of herShe shares how being bullied as a kid impacted her as an adult, how it led her to question and learn to accept parts of herself, and how it causes her to seek to see another with intention We chat about the joy in time spent with others, how opening up our home and what it means to have that space to share with others, how seeing someone’s needs and what will bring them joy beyond a moment allows others to feel cared for, and how accepting the right to our own happiness is enough to pursue the life you dream of Ornella is one that I could sit and chat with all day, someone who reminds me it’s ok to just be myself, someone who will ask with a desire to know, and someone who will remind you It’s ok to be soft and sweet So tune in and meet Ornella, and be reminded that who you are is worth all the happiness in the world, that it’s ok to not have it all figured out, and to give grace to those who love youAnd to you Ornella thank you, thank you for taking the time to share a blanket in the sand, for seeing me, for reminding me the joy it brings you to have friends in your home, for the way you honestly shared about your life, and the honor it is to get to know you. Can’t wait to see you again soon my friend and don’t ever lose your sweet spirit 

What if you just picked up the phone and called someone?Today I want to introduce you to Dylan, I had the pleasure of meeting Dylan while in Barcelona and what stood out immediately was the way he reads others, how someones sincerity causes him to press in and share his own, and how that creates space for connections to be made We chat about how curiosity causes growth, how it can at times be motivated by fear, and how seeking ways to learn and grow reminds us how precious life is. We chat about something we both fear, how my response is at times to simply sleep and ignore it and how superstition plays a role for him We chat about how reciprocation impacts connection, how those that show in action and effort that relationships matter, how it impacts the way we hold on to those relationships in our lives. How there have been times when not being invited was hard, but how knowing yourself and not needing to be present in places we aren’t thought of is not just ok, but important for our own selfHe shares the joy he has in building something, both business and life with his girlfriend, how he is excited for what lies ahead, and how their creating home in different parts of the world has changed them for the betterDylan is a sincere, gentle, and fun soul, one that will remind you to show up for yourself, to create consistency in your own life in ways that go beyond any career or relationship, and one that will inspire you to look to what you want to do in this life and know just how possible it isSo tune in today and meet Dylan, a human living life in a way that reminds us all just how possible joy, fulfillment, and an ability to be present with those close to us truly isAnd to you Dylan thank you, thank you for taking the time to sit with me and share part of your journey, for the chance to know more of how life has impacted you, for your curiosity about humanity and the person in front of you, for you joy and heart to share life with others. It says something powerful when we make time and show up to connect with others, and I am honored to have had the time to share such a space with you.

Imagine this is your last breath on earth? Would it change what you are doing right now? Would it change how you approach what you are doing right now?Today I want to introduce you to Carles, a human that I think has found what it is to know joy in every day, someone who on a bit of a mission if you will to connect and learn from whatever is different in this world, and someone that I believe is using dating apps in the only way I would ever consider using them myselfWe chat about what it means to invest in your health and growth, how you are your greatest asset and how nothing you pour into in this life will matter more, how loss in all its sadness must point us towards the reality that we are still here with a life to live and purpose to fulfill He shares what its like to focus over the last 6 months and shift his thinking in ways that have allowed him to be intentionally more present, how the noise of overthinking can often get in the way of truly living the life we have, and how everything other than death is not a real problem cause we get to go onWe chat about what it means for money to be a consequence of our work and not the goal. He shares what it means to find peace with what claims our attention and also demands nothing all at once, and how we get to impact the world by paying attention to who is in front of us Carles is one that I have had the pleasure of connecting with over the years, but up until this weekend, I hadn’t had a chance to truly sit down with him, I believe we can know someones character within minutes, but I believe it is not just based on our own ability to read someone, but also their ability and willingness to be known. Carles is one that I admire, respect, have learned from, and who truly allows me to be present when spending time with himSo tune in today and meet Carles, I promise you will walk away from this conversation with a perspective both on yourself and connection that will allow you to know joy and another human in a deeper wayAnd to you Carles thank you, thank you for the way you are in conversation, on a walk, or even in a crowd, you are one that holds space well and allowed me the honor of knowing I was not competing for your attention when I spoke, and for allowing me the same in return as you have shared parts of your life. You are an incredible soul that I am truly grateful to call a friend may you continue to say no to anything that does not deserve a yes in your life

This has been a year filled with more change and trials then I care to experience, but life isn't always easy, and I wonder how we might care for each other if we were more honest about the hard times?Sharing a bit of a major life update, and how healing has looked for me as change continues.