Kids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!)

Wouldn’t parenting be easier if our kids’ behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader—a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel successful!  Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

By now, we’ve all heard that Step One for effectively addressing our kids' behaviors and emotional storms is to first calm ourselves. Sounds simple, but as Janet has often shared, she believes this to be the biggest challenge we as parents face. Here's good news: Janet's guest this week is dynamic and passionate educator Mr. Chazz, and he has learned a self-calming process that he believes in 100%. Happily, he shares it in detail in this episode and who knows? It may very well come in handy this holiday season! Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this encore episode, a parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she admits to her toddler that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child’s empathy and sensitivity, they don’t want him taking on the burden of other people’s emotions. They’re hoping Janet has some advice to help manage this delicate balancing act. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A mother reaches out to Janet because her 3-year old's behavior has recently become erratic and unpleasant, and she’s struggling to make sense of it. She writes that her boy is strong-willed, smart, kind, high energy and wonderful to be around. But lately he's quick to anger, throws things, screams NO to simple requests, is pushy with his younger sister and gets easily overwhelmed when disappointed. He even behaved wildly and disruptively in a weekly music class he normally enjoys. Janet offers some basic guidelines for responding that she believes can be applied to almost every kind of behavior concern parents face. She hopes you find this helpful! Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does the holiday season really need to be so overwhelming? Janet admits she gets caught up in the bustle and excitement of holiday festivities. While her intention every year is to pare down to make more room for meaningful moments with her loved ones, she still finds herself shopping until the last minute for the perfect gift and wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Day. Janet's more than ready to take off her Santa hat and find ways to do less and enjoy more but doesn't know exactly how to make it happen.  Happily, this week's guest is inspirational pastor and community leader Ashlee Eiland, who shares loads of wisdom and actionable suggestions for prioritizing joy and meaning in the holidays, for our kids and us.Follow Ashlee on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/ashlee_eiland/Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener's questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she's experiencing as her three babies have become adults. She shares on topics like boundaries, maintaining closeness, and how she's tried to support her kids through struggles. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children's developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn't seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second parent expresses her dismay ("I don't know how to undo what I've done!") that her 3-year-old will no longer draw. The child's refusal began when the parent innocently followed her child's request to draw pictures for her. A third parent says that her 3.5-year-old has been ready to use the potty since she was 2 but is "absolutely set on being in diapers forever." Just as with the other two parents, this mom is trying to trust her daughter's process, but her doubts keep seeping in, and she wonders if there's some action she should be taking. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S. Rae's website, contact information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com, and where you can sign up for her new program for parents "The Truth About Children".Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in a recent “New York Times” article) as "painstakingly and methodically cultivating children's talents, academics and futures through everyday interactions and activities." They note that parents are feeling more obligated to provide extracurricular activities for their kids than they did a decade ago and spend more time stimulating and actively playing with them. The jury's out as to whether these kids are benefiting from their parents' efforts, but they are undoubtedly feeling their parents' stress. Janet's view is that intensive parenting teaches kids they need intensive help. She believes that the key to being involved in the most positive manner in kids' lives is to better understand our role—where they need us to be leaders and when they need us to let go and trust them. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.