How to Prepare Sibling for an Infant Adoption - Weekend Wisdom

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I adopted our daughter in 2019, and she is now 5. As of a week ago, we were matched with a birth mother who is due in six weeks. We have explained the process to our daughter (we made a book about our life, and one day someone will pick us), but now that we’ve been chosen, what is the best way to approach this with my daughter? We have several of the books from your (wonderful) book list, but not many pertain to same sex parents who are bringing home an adopted sibling. How do we prepare our daughter for the possibility of having a sibling, while also being open and honest about the possibility that this baby might not be ours to take home? Resources:Prepare Children for the Adoption of a Sibling (Suggested Books)Books for Transracially Adopted Kids (Suggested Books)Talking with Kids about Adoption (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you looking for practical strategies to build attachment with your child? Jeanette Yoffe, MA, MFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in adoption and foster care with over 20 years of experience treating children with complex trauma. Her new book, The Traumatized and At-Risk Youth Toolbox: Over 160 Attachment-Informed Interventions for Working with Kids and Families in Foster Care and Beyond offers specific strategies and tools parents and caregivers can build into their family rhythms to promote regulation and healing in their homes. In this episode, we discuss:Overview of trauma’s impacts on the brain, on learning, regulation, and on the ability to trust.What does co-regulation look like between a caregiver and a child with a trauma history?What are some simple, everyday things caregivers can do at home to support a child’s self-regulation? What practical tools – activities or routines – will help us build emotional safety in our homes?Why is play such a powerful tool for connection and healing?Trauma often mimics ADHD or overlaps with it. How to help teachers understand what’s really going on.How can parents or relative caregivers support our kids for homework, without turning the evening into a power struggle?What kinds of professionals should we look for?Resources:Working with Traumatized Children in the ClassroomWhat is Adoption?What is Foster Care?What is Family Court?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago, and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is, how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start.  But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old.  For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I’m not sure how start talking to him about this.  Any help would be greatly appreciated. Resources:Talking with Kids About Adoption (Resource page)Talking with Kids About Birthparents (Suggested Books)Adoptee Voices (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you looking for practical strategies to help your kids face the challenges of a scary world? Join us for a conversation with Melinda Wenner Moyer. She is an author, contributing editor at Scientific American, a regular contributor to The New York Times, and a former faculty member at New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. Her new book is titled Hello, Cruel World: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times.In this episode we discuss:Why is raising kids in today’s world is so challenging and potentially terrifying for parents.What are the fears kids are feeling in today’s culture?What are some of the clues parents and caregivers should look for to tell us our kids might be struggling with fear or anxiety?How does a parent or caregiver’s fear impact our ability to raise our kids in what feels like a terrifying world?How do we balance protecting our kids from the world with equipping them to handle the hard things about today’s world?When and how do we start “lifting the shield”?The book’s framework for raising kids in these challenging times includes these three pillars: coping mechanisms, connection techniques, and cultivation practices.Coping MechanismsHow to manage anxiety and fear.Self-regulationEmotional literacyExamples of coping strategies for one or two agesConnection TechniquesParent-child attachment as a protective factorImportance of being emotionally available and validatingRoutines, rituals, and conversations that build trustExamples of fun and playful connection techniquesCultivation PracticesHow to practice optimism, gratitude, curiosity, and moral reasoningEncouraging healthy risk-taking and autonomyExamples for how we parents can model ethical and resilient behaviorWhat additional or special considerations for those of us raising kids impacted by trauma? How can we adapt some of these strategies?Examples of how a parent’s approach should evolve as their child grows in age or ability by age/stage:Infants & Toddlers (0–3)Preschool (3–5)Elementary (6–11)Tweens & Teens (12–18)Resources for Parents & Caregivers:Practical Tips to Help Your Kids Manage StressPractical Ideas to Boost Your Child’s Social-Emotional LearningSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My 15-year-old foster daughter, “Anna”, is scheduled to move back in with her mom at the end of the school year. She is currently on my phone plan. I also pay for her access to Spotify, Netflix, and Hulu. Should I ask her mother now how she wants to transition Anna onto her phone plan? Do you recommend continuing to pay for a 3-6 month period until the mother figures it out? Should I just keep her on my account for Spotify, Netflix, and Hulu as long as it doesn't cost me anything extra? She also has some of her own furniture that doesn't fit in my car. Should Anna's mother be responsible for getting those pieces to their home? She is going to live almost 3 hours away. Resources:Working with Birth Parent's for the Child's Best InterestWorking as Part of the Foster Care TeamFormer Foster Care Youth VoicesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering international adoption? If so, this interview will help you decide which special needs are a good fit for your family. We'll talk with Dr. Dana Johnson, MD, PhD. He is a Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Neonatology at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Johnson founded the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota. He is a dad and granddad by birth and adoption.In this episode, we discuss:International adoption has become overwhelmingly a special needs adoption program from all countries. Prospective adoptive parents are required to fill out a form stating what special needs they will accept.Most common special needs. What are they and how involved is the post-adoption care? Cerebral PalsyHeart issuesCraniofacialCleft lip/palateDevelopmental Special NeedsAutismDown syndromeDevelopmental DelaysHepatitis B and CHIVOrthopedic special needsClubfootLimb or digit deficienciesAlbinismHearing lossVision LossUrogenitalKidney abnormalitiesUrethra issuesBladder issuesImperforate anusAmbiguous genitaliaEmotional/TraumaOlder kidsSexual AbusePrenatal ExposureHow can adoptive parents support and advocate for children discriminated against due to physical, cognitive, and other disabilities?What type of special needs do you see from the major placing countries?IndiaColombiaBulgariaUkraineSouth KoreaHaitiAfrican countriesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: A listener wrote in asking about encopresis and enuresis. These tips are for handling bedwetting or soiling accidents once your child is successfully potty trained.Resources:Bedwetting and Related Toileting Issues (Article)Helping Children Heal from TraumaSleep IssuesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do you define self-care? Are you establishing a routine of self-care that supports you to meet your kid's needs? Nicole Barlow joins the podcast to discuss how we think about self-care, why it's crucial, and how to create rhythms of self-care in our homes. She is a certified wellness coach, TBRI® Practitioner, and parent trainer for foster and adoptive parents.In this episode, we discuss:Re-define self-careWhy is self-care crucial for parents and caregivers?Why do so many of us resist or neglect self-care?What are some of the benefits of a well-rounded approach to self-care that might move the needle for someone who says, “I’m too busy…” or “Self-care is selfish, etc.”What are some of the indicators we might identify in our lives that say we should focus on our wellbeing more intently? Framing a holistic approach to self-care:Physical wellnessEmotional & Mental wellnessSpiritual wellnessWhere does one start if we’ve never established regular self-care routines?How can we build from that starting place into overall rhythms of self-care?Where do practices like meal planning, budgeting, and home management fit into the picture?What about socialization, building a support network, engaging in respite, etc.?What do you recommend to parents and caregivers who look up one day and find themselves isolated or without a solid support network? Where do they start building or re-building that for themselves? Practical advice to start and maintain a self-care routineWalk every dayBoost the benefit by walking with a friendBoost the benefit by engaging in quiet time, self-reflection, prayer, etc.Engage in strength trainingBuilding muscle aids the body in processing stressEat whole foodsNourishing your body aids in regulating and processing stressSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Today's question is about black parents adopting a white child. This was a question we received from a survey we sent out to issues that our audience wished that we would address.Resources:Raising a Child Through a Transracial AdoptionTransracial Adoption Twist: Black Parents Adopting White KidsBlack Families Adopting White ChildrenSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can we get people of faith more involved in helping vulnerable kids and families and supporting foster and kinship families? Join our discussion with Jason Johnson and Shmuly Yanklowitz. Pastor Johnson is with The Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) and is both a foster and adoptive dad.  Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz is the Founder & President of YATOM: The Jewish Foster & Adoption Network. Rabbi Yanklowitz has twice been named one of America’s Top Rabbis by Newsweek and is a foster dad.In this episode, we discuss:How can churches, synagogues, mosques, and other faith communities step forward to help families?What are the different ways people of faith can help?How do we get the rabbis, ministers, and leaders on board?Better for the church or synagogueWhat are the biggest obstacles you see for leadership to want to embrace this ministry or program?How to get people involved?What are the biggest obstacles for people wanting to get involved?How can places of faith circle around grandparents and other relatives caring for children?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building