S1: In Absentia- When Things Are Not What You Thought They Were(Stories of Suicide & Loss)

The happyish holiday season can be whatever the heck you want it to be, no matter what pressures you feel from family and friends and society. So, here’s to creating new traditions – and to the Terribles who shared theirs with us (and with you).  _ Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th! _ It’s the most wonderful time of the year… um, but is it really? The holiday season can be complicated. Sometimes instead of cozy nights with hot cocoa and meaningful moments, we get tears, ruined plans, and nights spent hiding in the bathroom at family parties. If the holiday season hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, join us for Happyish Holidays, a collection of holidays gone wrong presented by Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Happyish Holidays to you and yours! Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.  Created and hosted by Nora McInerny. - Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

‘Tis the season! Our terrible holiday tradition is back, this time with more of your painful, sad, awkward holiday stories. Plus: boundary setting advice from Melissa Urban and a fiery Hanukkah story from Vanessa Zoltan.  _ Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th! _ It’s the most wonderful time of the year… um, but is it really? The holiday season can be complicated. Sometimes instead of cozy nights with hot cocoa and meaningful moments, we get tears, ruined plans, and nights spent hiding in the bathroom at family parties. If the holiday season hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, join us for Happyish Holidays, a collection of holidays gone wrong presented by Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Happyish Holidays to you and yours! Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.  Created and hosted by Nora McInerny. - Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with our third annual Happyish Holidays episode! This year, comedian Alyssa Limperis shares with us the holiday letter she wrote the year her dad died from brain cancer. We talk with Jay Mathews, a 48-year-old father and son who, with stage IV cancer, is probably experiencing his last holidays with his family. And we ask listeners what they took away from 2018, what they're looking forward to in 2019, and what it is about hoping for something that can be so scary.  _ Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th! _ It’s the most wonderful time of the year… um, but is it really? The holiday season can be complicated. Sometimes instead of cozy nights with hot cocoa and meaningful moments, we get tears, ruined plans, and nights spent hiding in the bathroom at family parties. If the holiday season hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, join us for Happyish Holidays, a collection of holidays gone wrong presented by Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Happyish Holidays to you and yours! Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.  Created and hosted by Nora McInerny. - Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lauren’s brother died at Thanksgiving. Her mother died at Christmas. So … this time of year is not exactly joyous for her. And it’s not all that fun for a lot of other people, too. The holidays can really suck!   We’re back with our second annual Happyish Holidays episode, in which we share your holiday stories of humor and loss.  _ Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th! _ It’s the most wonderful time of the year… um, but is it really? The holiday season can be complicated. Sometimes instead of cozy nights with hot cocoa and meaningful moments, we get tears, ruined plans, and nights spent hiding in the bathroom at family parties. If the holiday season hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, join us for Happyish Holidays, a collection of holidays gone wrong presented by Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Happyish Holidays to you and yours! Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.  Created and hosted by Nora McInerny. - Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two days after Nora’s husband Aaron died, she celebrated Thanksgiving with her family. Well... maybe not “celebrated.”  Every year, millions of people do the same thing during the holidays. In this episode, we talk with some of those folks, including Dr. Lucy Kalanithi and comedian Amber Tozer.  We also spend some time with some of the women of the Hot Young Widows Club, talking about their hopes and dreams for the upcoming year.  Plus, stories of some of the worst holidays ever.  _ Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th! _ It’s the most wonderful time of the year… um, but is it really? The holiday season can be complicated. Sometimes instead of cozy nights with hot cocoa and meaningful moments, we get tears, ruined plans, and nights spent hiding in the bathroom at family parties. If the holiday season hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, join us for Happyish Holidays, a collection of holidays gone wrong presented by Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Happyish Holidays to you and yours! Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.  Created and hosted by Nora McInerny. - Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If the holidays make you want to tear your hair out or cry on the bathroom floor, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's a hard time for a lot of people, and still we have to force a smile and say through gritted teeth, "Happy Holidays!" But the holidays aren't always happy. Most of the time, all we can ask for is HappyISH Holidays.  In this episode, Nora McInerny and producer Marcel Malekebu dive into AITA stories of holidays gone wrong. You can play judge, jury, and executioner with them.  If you need a holiday survival guide, we're sorry, this isn't it. But it just might make you feel better about your holiday blunders! _ Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th! _ It’s the most wonderful time of the year… um, but is it really? The holiday season can be complicated. Sometimes instead of cozy nights with hot cocoa and meaningful moments, we get tears, ruined plans, and nights spent hiding in the bathroom at family parties. If the holiday season hasn’t always lived up to your expectations, join us for Happyish Holidays, a collection of holidays gone wrong presented by Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Happyish Holidays to you and yours! Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.  Created and hosted by Nora McInerny. - Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2014, Brittany Maynard exercised her right to an assisted death under Oregon's Death With Dignity Act. She'd been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer less than a year earlier.  Her death at age 29 — and her advocacy work for the legalization of assisted death — made headlines.  Nora's husband also died in 2014, also from brain cancer. But his and Brittany's deaths were very different. In this episode, Nora and Dan, Brittany's late husband, reflect on their partners' decisions about how to spend the end of their lives.  _ Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon. – Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Claire was a teenager, she held a lot of big, difficult feelings, and for a while, she saw only one solution for them. Though Claire decides to not act on those feelings, her story gets shared anonymously online — and continues to appear when she needs it most. Note: This episode is about suicide. If you are or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, there are free resources available to you: Text HOME to 741-741 for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor any time of day. If you feel unsafe right now, text or call 988 or use the chat function at 988lifeline.org If you need help figuring out HOW to tell someone that you’re having suicidal thoughts, here are some prompts. If you suspect someone in your life is having suicidal thoughts, here are some questions you can ask them. Read the CDC’s Suicide Prevention Resource for Action. If you’re struggling with depression, know some of the tools that can help lift you out of a hard time. _ Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon. – Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Death by suicide has long been a problem within the U.S. military, and not just among veterans: In 2020, suicide rates among active duty service members hit a six-year high.  On August 28th, 2015, Heather’s husband Tyler became one of those statistics.  Theirs is a story of friendship, of love, of family, of service and duty … and of trauma, domestic abuse and mental illness.  If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988.  If you’re a victim of domestic violence and want out, you can call the National Domestic Violence hotline. You’re not alone.  References:   Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide  Common Factors in Military Domestic Homicides: Implications for Prevention and Intervention   Military Versus Civilian Murder-Suicide  Military Suicide Rates Are at an All-Time High _ Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon. – Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Olivia is 7 years old when her dad moves out of state to take a new job … and is never heard from again. In high school, a manilla envelope appears in Olivia’s mailbox letting her know the reason she never heard from him is because he died by suicide. But when Olivia learns as a young journalist that her father might have faked his own death all those years ago, she decides to investigate.  _ Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon. – Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube. _ The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. _ Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices