033 - Civility with Rhea Settles

This week we are joined by Nora Sahatciu to explore her work in Kosovo creating the groundwork for Serbian families to safely return to Kosovo. We learn about community building, incentives, UN programs and development aid that were used to overcome barriers to trust and engagement.  Partners Kosovo Kosovo Kosovo Mediation Law Leke Dukagjinic Code Positive Descrimination UNDP Kosovo UN Kosovo Team If you are interested in hearing more about Nora's work she will be speaking at the ADRBC 2019 Symposium, June 10th and 11th in Vancouver, Canada You can find Nora online here What trust-building initiatives have you found success with? Tell us about them @overconflict Talk Soon!!

This episode uses the book Happiness by Aminata Forna to explores a wide variety of ideas and concepts around conflict. This wide ranging discussion touches on trauma and growth, conflict cycles, polarization, conflict roles and human-animal conflict. SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!  If you are the kind of reader who hates spoilers please read the book before listening to the episode. Here are links to the past episodes mentioned in our discussion. Lorraine Segal - Episode 28 - Spotlight on Boundary Setting Julie Daum - Episode 6 - Giving Feedback C.D. and Amanda read the book as part of CoRe Reads 2018. A huge Thank You to Julie Daum for suggesting the book, Darsey Meredith and Aaron Leakey for participating in the dialogue and Wendy Lakusta for facilitating the collaborative discussion. You can see the video of the collaborative process here Did you enjoy being part of our book club? Want more? Aaron Leakey is facilitating a new monthly group Reading Conflict with the first discussion starting March 11, 2019

In this Episode C.D. and Amanda take some time to reflect on the last year and look forward to 2019. This is the longest show notes and link list we've done by about 200%. So we've pulled our 2 call-outs to the top of the list! 1. We are collecting ideas for the 2019 SKill Series. If there are skills you think we should add to the list let us know @overconflict or www.facebook.com/overconflict 2. Happiness by Aminatta Forna is the CoRe Reads holiday book club pick. Read it with us over the holidays. C.D. Co-Chaired the BC CLE Conflict Resolutiuon Conference 2018 - Evolving Practices for Changing Times Amanda has been studying Conversational Intelligence with Judith Glaser. Judith passed away last week and will be greatly missed by the entire CIQ community. You can find out more about Judith and her work at www.conversationalintelligence.com As we begin a season filled with family visits we are reminded of some of the great advice from Episode 24 - Curiousity for Better Holidays with Kathy Taberner and Kirsten Taberner Siggins   Skill Series Did you enjoy last year's skill series? Are there skills you really think we should do next year? Let us know which ones you would love to see covered @overconflict C.D. and Amanda found a different set of last year's series really useful Which were your favourites? We've gathered them all here for you just in case you want a refresher! Episode 25 - Spotlight on Paraphrasing with Luke Weisner Episode 26 - Spotlight on Effective Questions with Cinnie Noble Episode 27 - Spotlight on Reframing with Stephanie Grunze-Swanson Episode 28 - Spotlight on Boundaries with Lorraine Segal Episode 29 - Spotlight on Assertiveness with Dr. Michael Talbot Episode 30 - Process Management with Gordon Sloan   Will you join C.D. and Amanda in reading Happiness by Aminatta Forna for CoRe Reads? CoRe Reads is a holiday book club for Conflict Resolution professionals. This year's book was chosen through a consensus process led by Wendy Lakusta You can see the full video of Wendy Lakusta's facilitation here, after watching the video myself I plan to read all 3 books over my holidays! Julie Daum - Happiness by Amminata Forna Aaron Leakey - Blindness by Jose Saramago Darsey Meredith - Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi Julie Daum, CoRe Reads, C.D. and Amanda will be debriefing the book in January, date to be determined. We will announce the date once we know it on twitter and in our newsletter. Have a Wonderful Holidays! Talk Soon!

We had the opportunity to chat about coaching in Family Busines disputes with Laura North. While family businesses have some unique dynamics, I left this chat thinking about how I can apply the concept to other businesses. Does one of the parties need a support person? In which situations might a coach be a good situation? You can find Laura North online at True North Coaching Do you use coaches in your dispute resolution practice? Tell us about it @overconflict 

This week we have Cinnie Noble back to continue our exploration of questions. How do you know if you've asked a good question? What is the purpose of questions? How do you use time to increase the power of your questions? How do you handle having asked a bad question? Cinnie's Daily Questions can be found on Twitter @conflictmastery Cinnie's Book Conflict Master: Questions to Guide you What do you want to be most prepared for?  What could they do to trigger you? What do you want to do differently? What have I not asked? You can find Cinnie online at www.cinergycoaching.com/ Have you heard any great questions recently? Let us know @overconflict Talk Soon!

This short bonus episode features our chat with Aaron Lyons at the ADRBC 2018 Symposium. We talk about the role of the larger community in dispute resolution processes. What is the role of the community to speak values into a conflict? How should rights be reflected at the table? Let us know what you think @overconflict Find Aaron Lyons online at Just Outcomes Talk Soon.

This short bonus episode features our chat with Dr. John Radford at the ADRBC 2018 Symposium. We focus on identity as a layer of conflict that is often overlooked. How are you seeing identity impacting conflict? Let us know @overconflict Find Dr. John Radford online at Transpectives Talk Soon.

Join us this week as we explore the concepts of Indigenous Law in Canada. Val takes us through the role of stories in rebuilding the body of indigenous law, the importance of laws for indigenous communities and how being a multijurisdictional country can work. "They need to consider and conceptualize indigenous law as law. And when they have questions about indigenous law  it would be helpful to ask themselves if they would ask thayt same question of Canadian Law. And if not,why not?" John Borrows   Indigenous Law Degree Program Indigenous Law Research Unit Indigenous Law Videos Legitimus Deborah Curran Gender Inside Indigenous Law Toolkit  Charles Taylor Find more about Val Napoleon online here Do you have more questions that answers after listening to our chat with Val? I know I do. Tell us about them @overconflict Talk soon!  

This short bonus episode features our chat with Evelyn Zellerer at the ADRBC 2018 Symposium. We explore the relationship between mediation and restorative justice. This feels like the beginning of a conversation. If you would like us to continue it let us know @overconflict You can find out more about Evelyn Zellerer at Peace of the Circle or @RJcircles

In this episode we explore the concept of Civility with Rhea Settles and the work she has done as an educator and mediator to transform workplaces. Rhea is the originator of Civility Mediation and Facilitation. We explore civility, bullying and oppression. What would it take for people to willfully share the space? Civility: Being mindful of what you do, what you say, write and make decisions in an effort to cause no harm. Rankism Robert Fuller Colin Kaepernick James Comey EEOC The Sneetches Dr Seuss You can find Rhea Settles online @thecivilityzone or www.thecivilityzone.com