Vicious Cycle 05: Unpacking Sex After Trauma

On today’s episode, we are joined by TV host and journalist, Danielle Robay. We chat about why you should be asking better questions and how to get there. We also dive into her egg freezing journey and discuss the value of sharing these kinds of personal stories with other women. We walked away from this conversation with so much energy & insight and know you will too!  You can find Danielle on socials @daniellerobay and hear more from her as the host on Hello Sunshine’s podcast The Brightside.   Music By: Kieran Miles Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary Follow along for more! https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Produced by SickBird Productions For any inquiries, please reach out to [email protected]

In today’s episode, we dive into all things shadow work. We share our own experiences with the shadow — the most rejected and unloved aspects of yourself — and how confronting and integrating these aspects have led to significant personal growth and self-love. And of course, we discuss the work that led us to uncovering our shadows. You’re not going to want to miss this one!  To learn more about shadow work, you can download our manifestation journal, Co-Create, enroll in Unblocked Shadow with To Be Magnetic and use code “THOUGHTS”, and read The Tools book, as well as check out their online programming.  A few shadow work journal prompts to get you started (thanks to Co-Create!) Why am I not showing up in the way I want to? What parts of myself are hardest to accept? What do I need to forgive myself for? Do I hide any parts of myself from others? Why? What personality traits do I notice in others that I wish I had? How do I feel when I’m around people who exhibit these traits?  Music By: Kieran Miles Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary Follow along for more! https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Produced by SickBird Productions For any inquiries, please reach out to [email protected]

Today, we’re unpacking life with dynamic mompreneur, host, tastemaker, and founder of The Cool Mom Co., Lizzy Mathis. Lizzy joins us today to discuss her journey from modeling to creating community-centered platforms, while emphasizing the importance of self-love, and the role of support systems in personal and career growth. Her insights on fostering resilience, positivity, and a strong sense of self amongst her children and community members illuminate the essence of facing life's challenges with empowerment. Trust us, today’s episode is one you will find yourself constantly coming back to as you continue along your journey.  You can find Lizzy on socials @lizzymathis and hear more on her podcast, The Cool Mom Code, her website The Cool Mom Co., and on Season 2 of Honest Renovations (coming soon!).  Music By: Kieran Miles Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary Follow along for more! https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Produced by SickBird Productions For any inquiries, please reach out to [email protected]

It's our 100th episode!! We're spending this milestone celebrating our first studio, diving into the evolution of Thoughts May Vary, and sharing more about ourselves, our careers, and how we met. We then dive into some fun questions: What is our most expensive self-care ritual? (Hint: it's witchy). How would we haunt each other in the afterlife? What was our first concert? Are we inbox 0 people? We love you all and thank you for continuing to support the show! Music By: Kieran Miles Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary Follow along for more! https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Produced by SickBird Productions For any inquiries, please reach out to [email protected]

Season 5 of Thoughts May Vary is officially out April 1st! Thank you all for growing with us. We are so excited to continue bringing you episodes that encourage curiosity, share unique perspectives, and ultimately, give you a space to explore.  Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary 🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Produced by SickBird Productions For any inquiries, please reach out to [email protected] Music By: Kieran Miles

You know the drill: you ask us your mental health questions, we tell you to do what feels best for you (and share our experiences for guidance along the way).  00:00 Mistakes, cerulean, and Love Is Blind 05:49 Q1: How to chill and get grounded when you feel like you physically cannot slow down? 09:41 Q2: How to stop letting the fear of the unknown get in the way of putting myself out there? 14:47 Q3: How to deal with weed dependency and cut down on smoking? 17:22 Q4: Advice for learning and meeting a new self, particularly in the post-grad transition? 21:23 Q5: Tips for fulfillment, especially in career? 25:08 Q6: Advice for living in the now while working a lot in a job that isn't aligned? 26:46 Q7: To what extent do you follow signs from the universe and is there a middle way you can take? 28:39 Q8: How do you cope with making a big change? 31:01 Q9: How can I begin to slowly deconstruct the issues preventing me from dating/love when they feel never-ending? Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode!  SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL:  https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary   🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This week, we’re unpacking what it means to have an abundance mentality around creativity and intentionally stepping into a new version of ourselves.  00:00 Cycle syncing 04:01 G's unpacking 12:50 Showing up on the internet in a difference capacity 19:13 G's reframing 22:12 – M's unpacking 29:54 – TikTok Fridays  33:13 – A new version of self can come whenever you want 34:12 – Bone to pick with TikTok Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode!  SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL:  https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary   🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Dr. Sam Zand, Holistic Psychiatrist & Professor of Psychedelic Medicine, brings us a lot of hope for the future of mental healthcare. Last time we spoke to Dr. Zand, we focused specifically on ketamine assisted therapy. Today, we cover everything from the psychodynamic history of drugs and mental health treatment to integrating spiritual practices into medicine.  Dr. Zand is a practicing psychiatrist who has trained over 100 clinicians in holistic mental health and also teaches psychedelic medicine and holistic psychiatry at UNLV. As founder of Anywhere Clinic, Calm Clinic, and Better U, Dr. Zand has utilized his Johns Hopkins public health training to help deliver insurance covered, compassionate mental health care in over 10 states.  MORE DR. ZAND: https://www.drsamzand.com/ https://www.anywhereclinic.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drsamzand/ Check out Anywhere Clinic’s free virtual support groups here: https://www.anywhereclinic.com/freegroup Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode!  SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL:  https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary   🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Our tools-based morning and evening self care routines in arguably too much detail, and answering more of your questions.  00:00 G’s miami routine 04:53 Q1: What are our morning and night routines, and how to build one?  21:52 Q2: How do you know when fear is a warning or if it's self-doubt? 25:00 Q3: What are your thoughts on giving advice to friends and how to approach that? 27:28 Q4: How to not feel guilty when you’re not working out due to being sick or on your period or working from home? 31:41 Q5: Where do you listen to Ram Dass lectures and do you have a favorite? 32:57 Q6: How to find balance between romanticizing versus being pessimistic in dating? 37:01 Q7: Tips for styling baggy clothing? Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode!  SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL:  https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary   🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

When is it okay to never get over something? When is it time to stop unpacking in therapy and start moving forward? Where do you start if you don’t have the tools? Today, we answer all of these and more with licensed marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharaon.  Vienna Pharaon is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. Vienna’s new book ‘The Origins of You’ teaches readers to change unwanted patterns in their lives by changing their relationship to their past wounds.  Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode!  0:00 Intro 5:38 Vienna's unpacking 19:46 Behaviors & grief 21:29 When is it okay to never get over something? 26:33 Where to start if you don't have all the tools? 32:06 Trading authenticity for attachment 40:54 When is it time to stop digging through the past and start moving forward? 48:06 Addressing the "mother wound"  58:14 Self-worth, expanders, & not putting people on pedestals 1:03:13 The twin demons: repetition and opposition & what integration looks like MORE VIENNA: The Origins Of You: https://viennapharaon.com/ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-keeps-happening-with-vienna-pharaon/id1702579456 IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/ SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL:  https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shop Discount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary 🎙️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts 🎙️ 🎥 Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary   🫠 Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimes https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypod https://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypod Threads @thoughtsmayvarypod Meadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlark Gaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_ DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands