Do You F*cking Mind?

What exactly is Trauma bonding? What if I told you that bonding with someone else over a traumatic event isn’t actually trauma bonding – it’s something else entirely! It’s about a relationship with someone who is traumatising and abusing you. I’m going to take you through what a trauma bond is, how to spot it, the 7 stages of trauma bonding, and how to know when (and how) to get out of a trauma bonded relationship. LINKS Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. I'm answering four of your questions this week ranging from an imbalance in sexual relationships in a partnership to trying to overcome the terrible relationship model parents set for one listener from childhood til now. AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at [email protected]   My current partner has had very limited sexual experience and our sex life is very average. Sexual compatibility is important to me and I don’t know the best way to proceed. He is a green flag in every other sense it’s just that we are at different experience and comfort levels sexually and I don’t just want to "cross my fingers: and hope it gets better. What should I do? After listening to your episode on Limerence Vs Love (linked below) I am beginning to think I might be the object of limerence with someone. The person I’m dating obviously has stronger feelings than me and I was wondering what the best way is to let them down easy? I’m worried that I’m my fiancé’s second choice. I’ve seen him in the past search her up on social media and it’s a niggling doubt that the only reason he is with me is because I was the safe choice after his tumultuous relationship with her. Struggling in a relationship based on the model my parents set for me. I discovered my mum was cheating on my dad when I was a kid (saw the text messages) and withheld that from my dad – and I know the affair continues to this day. They have a terrible relationship. So all I’ve ever seen modelled is disfunction and hurt. LINKS Listen to my episode on Limerance – Episode 302 Limerance Vs Love https://pod.fo/e/21cef1 . Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you know when something isn’t right for you? Sometimes we get caught up in the idea that hard work or working really hard for something will always bring it out in the best in us, but sometimes it’s just not worth it. In this episode we’re going to find out how to identify that and how to stop chasing after things that are not meant for you. We’ll also find out what you can do instead to start living a life that feels right. LINKS Listen to Episode 317 ‘Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation’ at https://pod.fo/e/228a96. Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. Here’s what I’m tackling this week. AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at [email protected]    I’ve had the same partner for a few years and we’re two women in our 20s. We’ve had a few bumps in the road as most relationships do, and without sounding like a douche a fair few have them have been her doing/from her. She has pushed me away quite a few times and treated our relationship poorly in the beginning. We’ve been in a more stable and healthy relationship in the last 9  months. I still think we can get better from both sides, and listening to your podcast has made me want to share your advice with her. She doesn’t like self-help or advice books and things. How can I get her more invested without pushing her boundaries. Am I being needy and are my expectations unfair? My best mate of many years has a complicated life and mental health struffles. She has serious enmeshment with everyone she meets. Her self-image is the most important quality to her. She’s struggled with her body image issues and projected that onto her friends. She’s very rarely single for longer that 2 weeks. She’s in therapy but mostly focuses on her sexual and romantic relationships. She’s quite selfish. I’m struggling with resentment given how long we have been friends and how badly her behaviour affects me and others. Sex in my long term relationship is fizzling. I’m worried about getting the ick too after a few therapy sessions where the counsellor called out red flags in my partners behaviour. My partner really is quite sexually physical and I’m just not interested in his lacklustre foreplay and just want him to hurry up so I can go to sleep. I know this question is asked a lot but what can I do? I love my partner and don’t want this to be the end. LINKS Listen to 'Where Should We Begin' with Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com/podcast . Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First up I have a life update – I’m going to try out publishing my episodes on Mondays and Thursdays from here on in (although this episode is coming out on a Tuesday because it’s a national public holiday here in Australia.) And on Thursdays you can expect the Head Noise episode. Okay now – THIS episode, I’m diving into how to stop inviting drama into your life. Do you find that drama alllways finds you? This is going to help you stop finding yourself in the middle of the bitching, get away from the gossip, and be a fab chill queen bean. SCIENCE FACT: How pathogens (a disease causing mechanism) is destroyed within the body.   LINKS: Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Habits! Those pesky little things that we're told time and time again are key to getting your life on track. They can feel like a tough nut to crack so in partnership with Medibank I’m taking you through my tips for how to form habits that last. LINKS: Listen to my episode 108. How Habits can Transform Your Life at https://rebrand.ly/he7hbsr .   Listen to episode 280. How to form a habit that STICKS! At https://rebrand.ly/bxmjqfy . Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First up I have a life update about my Sydney Live show. Then I get into the science of your nervous system, and the 7 types of nervous systems. (no there isn’t just one). Then I take you through my top 10 non-negotiables to be aware of when you’re dating. LINKS: Listen to episode 284 ‘Boundaries vs Controlling Behaviour’ at https://pod.fo/e/211dea  . Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is my HEAD NOISE episode where you send in your questions and I answer them! In this episode you’ve asked for my advice on these questions. A friend of mine admitted that she had been having an affair for 10 years. Looking back I think she told me because she was looking for someone to condone her behaviour. Unfortunately for her I did not. Every time I pointed her in the direction of bettering her situation she would come up with an excuse. I don’t know what else to do. Is this friendship a lost cause?  I'm starting to get feelings for my “Situationship” or as I’ve started calling it, my situationshit. I met him 4 years ago when travelling and had a one night thing. We kept in touch here and there over the years. Cut to few years later when we were both single again and started having amazing weekends together whenever travel plans aligned. The thing is, I now live closer to him (the reason I moved is separate to him) and I can feel myself getting proper feelings. What should I do? My partner and I have been together for 4 years and in our early 30s. I really want children but he doesn’t/ We’ve been talking about it on and off for 18 months and have been going to therapy about it. I’m holding on to hope – how long is too long to hold on to that hope.   LINKS: Send YOUR Head Noise questions to [email protected] Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A couple of topics in this episode today Beans! Firstly I’ve got a cool science fact about milk and hydration. And a life update – I’m in META hell and it’s a PSA that you need to turn on 2FA on your social media accounts cause the scam artists are out in full force! Plus for the bulk of the episode I’m talking about Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation. How understanding the difference between the two is going to help you to get things done – particularly when you keep falling off the motivation train.   LINKS: Listen to episode 25. What it Takes with Stefanie AKA My Sister at https://pod.fo/e/20d311 . Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host:  Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise CooperDigital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer:  Shania MaguaManaging Producer:  Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The 'Sleepy Girl Mocktail' was a trend going around TikTok that claimed to help you fall asleep, stay asleep and even improve the quality of your Sleep. And it’s all about Tart Cherry Juice – specifically Montmorency cherries or sour cherries. So what exactly are the ingredients in this drink and how much validity is there to the claims that it helps you not only fall asleep but also stay asleep? In this episode we’re going to dive deep into the science behind the ingredients, find out what the science says about them and separate the difference between falling asleep and staying asleep. And for those of you that struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep and struggle with maybe Insomnia and staying asleep, this could help you out! RECCOMENDATIONS: Listen to Episode 68 on Serotonin and Tryptophan at https://rebrand.ly/dyfm-ep68 . Read ‘Effects of Tart Cherry Juice Beverage on the Sleep of Older Adults with Insomnia: A Pilot Study’ Pigeon, Carr, Gorman and Perlis from JMed Food 2010 https://rebrand.ly/c78aptz . Read ‘Pilot Study of the Tart Cherry Juice for the Treatment of Insomnia and Investigation of Mechanisms’ Am J Ther. 2018 Mar/Apr;25(2):e194-e201. doi: at https://rebrand.ly/e1f0bc . Listen to episode 191 with the Science/Brain Fact about Magnesium, the best types of magnesium for sleep and how the type of magnesium you take could have a laxative effect at https://pod.fo/e/169d72 . LINKS: Join the DYFM Facebook Group https://bit.ly/dyfm-group . Follow @dyfmpodcast on IG  Follow @alexispredez on IG   Follow @listnrentertainment on IG  CREDITS Host: Alexis Fernandez       Executive Producer & Editor: Elise CooperDigital Producer: Zoe Panaretos DYFM Social Producer: Shania MaguaManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh  Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.